So, a quick Mellow Gold-related tidbit or two for you today.

For starters, last night, I took my mother to see Lionel Richie at the Beacon Theater.  Here’s my 5-Word Review of the concert:

Slickest Mutha On The Planet.

Okay, a little more.  The crowd was fascinating – young and old, black and white, coming together in harmony…okay, I made that last part up, but the rest of it is true.  And Lionel is the consummate performer; fantastic voice, fantastic pianist, and he knows how to work a crowd just by waving his hand.  The man was smart – I think he played two songs from his new album, and the rest?  Hit after hit after hit.  Sometimes he’d only do a verse and a chorus, but the only songs I think he skipped were "Truly," "Say You, Say Me," and "Penny Lover."  He did EVERYTHING else.  He even played less popular hits like "Ballerina Girl" and "Love Will Conquer All."  GREAT SHOW.

Oh god, I am such a loser.  Okay, moving on.

So my mom and I are sitting in the theater before the show and she goes:

"Did you hear John Hall won?"
"Yeah, of course I did.  I posted about it."
"What’s that about?  I mean, that’s as bad as Schwarzenegger running for governor."
(pause)
"Um, really, mom?  I don’t think it’s that bad.  And besides, he’s been in politics for a while."
"He has?"
"Yeah."
"I thought he’d been touring."
"Uh, no, I don’t think so…"
"No?  Hall & Oates?"

(sigh)

Thought you might enjoy that.

And speaking of John Hall, our good friend Dan mentioned to me this morning that Hall made a repeat appearance on The Colbert Report last night, and the two performed another duet.  The quality isn’t perfect, but naturally, it’s up on YouTube already.  I’m impressed.

[youtube]dzazh8lAHBE[/youtube]

Welcome back, mellow miners, to another week of Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold!

I thought that I wasn’t going to have time to write your MG post this week, with prep for the ’80s gig taking up a lot of time, but lo and behold, not only do you get your two tracks, but we start off with a bonus remix! (Of course, Chart Attack! may suffer as a result, but we’ll worry about that on Friday.) Anyway, here we go!

So, remember at the end of last Friday’s Chart Attack! when I asked you to remember the name D.H.T.?

As a refresher, D.H.T. is a pop band from Belgium who recently had a huge hit by resurrecting Roxette’s “Listen To Your Heart.” They’ve covered other songs as well, including Heart’s “Alone,” Janis Ian’s “At Seventeen” and Alanis Morrissette’s “Uninvited.” Their talent really lies with Edmee, their lead singer, who has a stellar voice.

Anyway, so one of our hottest radio stations for many years in NYC has been WHTZ, aka Z100. It’s our top CHR (Contemporary Hit Radio) station and is often the trendsetter. I don’t listen to the radio very often, as I commute via public transportation on most days and have my iPod. However, Z100 is still a preset in my car, even though I’m definitely not in their demographic (as evidenced by these posts). So last week, I’m station surfing as I’m driving, and I come across a tune that sounds very familiar to me. I can’t exactly place it, but I know that I know it.

This is what I heard. Raise your hand when you’ve figured it out.

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/inline/dhtcrazy.mp3]

(I assume you’ve got it, but if you don’t, you need to re-read Mellow Gold #2.)

Awful, isn’t it? How these guys decided to cover Paul Frickin’ Davis, I’ll never know. But D.H.T., you have my respect on principle alone. This is going to go a long way in helping Paul Davis buy that new fishing boat!

But don’t write off D.H.T. just yet; the version I posted was a dance remix (duhhhh). The pop version isn’t that bad – yeah, drums that weren’t created using a GarageBand loop could have helped the song (same with the strings), but I kinda like Edmee’s vocal. So it’s not Mellow Gold, but I’m offering it as a bonus download for you this week. You know, just to help round out your collection of Paul Davis And Paul Davis-Related Songs. And so I can whore attention to this blog from people looking for D.H.T. downloads.

D.H.T. – I Go Crazy (download)

(right now, someone has come here from The Hype Machine and is wondering, “who the hell is Paul Davis?”)

Okay, onwards and upwards to Mellow Gold!

Dave Mason – We Just Disagree (download)

I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t know much about Dave Mason. I’m not a fan of his. I mean, I’m a well-wisher in that I don’t mean him any particular harm, but I don’t know much about the guy. I obviously know about his time in Traffic, I know about him being a close bud to Hendrix, I know that the superb blog The Hits Just Keep On Comin’ recently featured a sweet version of “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?” (It may still be up – go, go, go!) But that’s just about all I know.

Oh, wait. I know one more thing. I know Dave Mason went all smooth and mellow on us for “We Just Disagree.”

Some facts about the song: “We Just Disagree” was written by Jim Krueger, who was the guitarist in Mason’s band. It was Mason’s biggest hit, and was released in 1977, where it peaked at #12. It was a song off of Mason’s Let It Flow album:

Mason or Loggins? You decide.
And what the hell is he doing? Breathing underwater?

But if you were to place “We Just Disagree” on any Mason album, wouldn’t you rather place it on an album with a cover like this?

Look at that suit! No, no, no, fuck the suit, look at that mascara! One minute, Dave Mason was rocking out and writing gems like “Feelin’ Alright” for Traffic (or, more famously, Joe Cocker), and the next minute…WHOOSH! Sucked right into the ’70s! He kinda looks like he wanted to be a Bee Gee.

So what makes “We Just Disagree” Mellow Gold? Well, we have a few contributing factors. For starters, let’s look at these lyrics. Selectively. Take it to the chorus!

So let’s leave it alone
‘Cause we can’t see eye to eye
There ain’t no good guy
There ain’t no bad guy
There’s only you and me and we just disagree

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a Mellow Gold sentiment. There ain’t no good guy? There ain’t no bad guy? What kind of breakup is this, anyway? This sounds almost…sadly amicable. What the hell? That doesn’t make for a good song! Where’s the blame, Dave? Where’s the blame?

There’s no blame to be found. Granted, he almost gets his nads back with this line:

Have you got a place to stay? Why should I care
when I’m just tryin’ to get along?

OoooOOOOH! Good on ya! Tell her, Dave! Wave your arms in the air, and tell her that YOU JUST DON’T CARE! (The waving will drive the point home.)

We were friends,
but now it’s the end of our love song.

Oh, Dave. Daaaave! You had her at “why should I care” and lost her somewhere around “love song.” She’s not going to care if you care at this point! Shit, why not seal the deal with “if it don’t feel right, you can go?”

So we’ve established that these nonconfrontational lyrics really help give this song its Mellow Gold vibe. But we can’t discount the music. First of all, yes, yes, sweet guitar part, for reals. Nice and clean, nice gentle backing with some swirling strings and a bit of piano. But the Mellow Goldiness of this tune comes from those fantastic, full backing vocals. Surrounding Mason on the key verse lyrics and those choruses, and driving it home with “oooh, oooh, oooh, whoa whoa whoa,” there’s something about the fullness of those other voices that really puts this into the MG category for me. Hope you agree.

If you’d like to see how Mason worked that sexy suit at the time, check him out performing “We Just Disagree” on Solid Gold, the year it was released:

[youtube]yPyZhLIbgu8[/youtube]

This one went all the way to the end of the 1977 Sound High Way!

Let’s move on.

Orleans – Dance With Me (download)

“Dance With Me” gets a shout-out (see, SallyAnn, I use the term) this week for two reasons. The obvious reason is because Orleans co-founder, John Hall, narrowly defeated incumbent Sue Kelly for a seat in Congress last night. Congratulations, John! Not bad for a guy who was, at one time, primarily known for his nipples and homoeroticism:


(John Hall in the middle, y’all.)
(And yes, I’m sure I’m the first person to make this joke.)
(Dude! Look at the guy on the left! Totally not concerned about that guy’s index finger!)

The second reason for including this song is that it has a lot in common with “We Just Disagree” (or the other way around, since this track predates Mason’s by two years). It derives its Mellow Gold status from those fantastic harmonies and smooth strumming. However, “Dance With Me” ups the ante (in a very wimpy way, of course), by throwing in a distinctive, melodic bass line and a harmonica. Plus, doesn’t that kind of sound like ’70s Cetera on that bridge?

A sweet pop song with a country twinge, “Dance With Me” was written by Hall with his then-wife, Johanna, and was Orleans’ first big hit. It was released in 1974 and peaked at #6 in October of 1975. The only problem was that Orleans didn’t really see themselves as a Mellow Gold band (their previous single, “Let There Be Music,” sounded more like the Doobies than anything else), but hey, boys, you release a song like “Dance With Me,” and the next thing you know, you’re opening for Melissa Manchester. And I’m not saying that “Still The One” made it worse, but it wasn’t like anybody heard it and was like, “YEAH! You guys frickin’ ROCK!”

Even if “Dance With Me” had featured blisteringly offensive metal guitars, a shrieking vocalist, and blood coming out of your stereo speakers, it still wouldn’t have been enough to counter the lyrics, which shout “I’m a wuss!” no matter which way you slice it:

Dance with me, I want to be your partner
Can’t you see the music is just starting?
Night is falling, and I am falling
Dance with me

Fantasy could never be so giving
I feel free, I hope that you are willing
Pick the beat up, and kick your feet up
Dance with me

I’m stopping there. Sorry. I’m picturing fairies dancing on clouds. With Liberace. Orleans, this is Mellow Gold. No arguing.

Orleans’ career path has obviously not been stellar since the late ’70s, although they apparently stayed wildly popular in Japan (selling out houses all over the country in the early ’90s), toured on the “Can’t Stop Rockin'” bill in ’95 with Fleetwood Mac, REO Speedwagon and Pat Benatar (that’s what I’m talkin’ about!), and, for reasons inexplicable to anyone, still remain good friends with Robbie Dupree, who convinced them to record a live album up in his home town of Woodstock, NY.

Although still technically a member of Orleans, John Hall doesn’t play with the band much anymore, and I’m guessing that he’ll now be a little busy in Congress (or maybe he won’t), but he did find the time to do a little harmonizing with Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report recently. I’m sure you’ve seen this clip already, but if you haven’t, it’s worth watching all the way through. If you’re just interested in hearing Colbert and Hall do a little duetting on “Dance With Me,” though, fast-forward to the end.

[youtube]_88ZMjYuw9s[/youtube]

Isn’t that a great interview? I thought so, too. John Hall clearly holds his own with Colbert. I’m impressed.

And that’ll do it for another week of Adventures Through The Mines of Mellow Gold! See you soon, ya pansies!

I know that most of you read the Chart Attack! postings with a sense of relief – relief that you no longer have to endure many of these songs on the radio.

I’m a bit different.  Because I was young, highly impressionable, and addicted to radio in the ’80s, I love this stuff.  Even the awful songs, to an extent.  They’re guilty pleasures.

And that’s why you totally need to come see Mike and I rock the shit out of ’80s songs, acoustic-duo style, this Saturday at Waltz.

You can find all information on the show on my performance page.

First one to guess what ’80s album cover is represented on this invite gets in free!  (This should be an easy one for you guys.)

Stereogum features a fantastic post about BORAT today.  Check it out.

It features:

1) A video of Borat on Conan, playing keytar (note to SB: they’re both miming)
2) Excellent Borat pop culture commentary by John Mayer, whose blog is actually really quite hysterical at times.

Enjoy!  And if you haven’t seen the movie but you dig that kind of humor…GO SEE IT.  Don’t hesitate.  And don’t read the reviews, either: some of them spoil the best scene in the movie.

This week’s Chart Attack! is dedicated to my buddy Raz.  Raz has hated just about every post I’ve done with the exception of Chart Attack! #2, because it covered a week in 1990.  Raz’s rule is "if I don’t know it already, it sucks," and apparently he didn’t listen to the radio except for somewhere around 1990.  Well, this isn’t 1990, but it’s close.  So let’s look back and see what was going on the week of November 4, 1989! 

10.  Love Shack – The B-52’s  Amazon iTunes
9.  (It’s Just) The Way That You Love Me – Paula Abdul  Amazon iTunes
8.  Dr. Feelgood – Mötley Crüe  Amazon iTunes
7.  Rock Wit’cha – Bobby Brown  Amazon iTunes
6.  Love In An Elevator – Aerosmith  Amazon iTunes
5.  When I See You Smile – Bad English  Amazon iTunes
4.  Sowing The Seeds of Love – Tears For Fears  Amazon iTunes
3.  Miss You Much – Janet Jackson  Amazon
2.  Cover Girl – New Kids On The Block  Amazon iTunes
1.  Listen To Your Heart – Roxette  Amazon

10.  Love Shack – The B-52’s  I was going to ask you to please raise your hand if you don’t like this song, but it might be easier to ask you to raise your hand if you do like this song.  We may get less hands.  Listen, I appreciate "Love Shack" for what it is: a fun, party song that was absolutely perfect for The B-52’s.  But damn if it isn’t one of the most overplayed songs in history.  (The only way it could get worse would be if someone did a "Love Shack"/"Two Princes" mashup.) 

You know what, though?  In 1989, I didn’t mind it so much.  Every party I went to in those days featured the song (band OR DJ), and it always seemed to keep people on the dance floor.  (And honestly, it seems to still do the same thing at weddings these days.)  And the song, which marked a "comeback" for the B-52’s (the band had never had a real hit in the U.S. before), was voted "Best Single of 1989" by Rolling Stone’s Music Awards, and the video won two MTV Video Music Awards.  So who knows.  Maybe people like it more than I imagine.  But I’m sure as hell not offering it for download here!

9.  (It’s Just) The Way That You Love Me – Paula Abdul  Surely you remember when Paula Abdul was on top of the charts…and the world?  I’m sure we’ll be talking about her again in future Chart Attack posts, so let’s focus purely on this single.  "(It’s Just) The Way That You Love Me" was the second single off of her debut album, Forever Your Girl, and was originally released in November 1988 in a different edit from the album track.  Abdul was not yet popular, and the track peaked at #88..  It took the release of "Straight Up" to command the attention of listeners (and MTV viewers).  "Straight Up" hit #1, as did her next two singles.  Opting to revert to the original album version, this single was re-released in November.  This week marked its debut in the Top 10, and it peaked at #3 just four weeks later.  Well played!

8.  Dr. Feelgood – Mötley Crüe  …and the world let out a collective sigh of relief to find that this was not a cover of the song made popular by Aretha Franklin.  Their first album recorded post-sobriety (and, for that reason, wisely recorded with each member of the band playing their parts separately), Dr. Feelgood was the band’s first album to top the chart – and the single remains their highest-charting hit, peaking at #6 the week prior to this one.  You can’t deny it – "Dr. Feelgood" is a strong rock song.  With a driving bass/guitar riff, a good chorus and lyrics that aren’t half-bad, this song deserved to be their big one.

7.  Rock Wit’cha – Bobby Brown  If you close your eyes and think back, you might be able to recall a time when Bobby Brown was a truly talented artist.  The 5th and final hit off of Don’t Be Cruel, "Rock Wit’Cha" was a smooth, slow R&B jam that, as with the others, showcased the production skills of L.A. Reid and Babyface.  This single peaked this week at #7 and could have been seen as a disappointment within the Brown camp: four of his other singles (including "On Our Own" from the Ghostbusters II soundtrack) had cracked the top five, the exception being the leadoff title track from the album.  Perhaps it was the fact that "Rock Wit’cha" sounded extremely similar to "Roni," one of his previous hits.  Either way, Bobby probably had no idea that he had only two more shots in the Top 10 with his next album, and then…well, we all know how the story goes.

6.  Love In An Elevator – Aerosmith  The first single off of Pump, arguably the last good Aerosmith album, "Love In An Elevator" had it all: an infectiously fun call-and-response verse ("whoa yeah!"), great harmonies, a full two minutes of guitar solos by two different band members, and ridiculously stupid lyrics that include the line "kiss your sassafrass."  And I haven’t even gotten to the video yet.

No,  not the video of my cat rocking the guitar solo.

[youtube]KGOghwz1dGY[/youtube]

The actual video created by Aerosmith.  You can’t beat this video.  Hot mannequins that turn into real women, midgets, Joe Perry’s naked wife…seriously.  Awesome video.

[youtube]PNDxHHuYPVU[/youtube]

I bought this on cassingle before Pump was released, and I won’t lie.  I air-guitar rocked it all the freaking time.

5.  When I See You Smile – Bad English (download)  Long live the rock power ballad!  Bad English was a band comprised of members of rock group The Babys (well, their late ’70s incarnation, anyway), with Neil Schon of Journey thrown in for good measure.  (Keyboardist Jonathan Cain was a member of both The Babys and Journey.)  They released two albums before breaking up, and only had two singles…although you’ll be forgiven if you don’t necessarily recall "Price of Love," which only spent two weeks in the Top 10 in March of 1990. 

"When I See You Smile," however, enjoyed an impressive six weeks in the Top 10, including two at #1, before being knocked off the top by "Blame It On The Rain."  Damn you, Milli Vanilli!  The lyrics are cheesy (what do you expect from Diane Warren?), the guitars are loud (what do you expect from Neil Schon?), but the vocal is right-on.  For a long time, I didn’t know that lead vocals were from John Waite, despite the familiarity of his voice from "Missing You."  And because Waite sells the vocal, the song works.  Well, at least for me, it does.  I gather some of you hate it.  But when I was younger and heard this song on the radio, I wished I had written it for a girl.  Because then I would have totally gotten some.

4.  Sowing The Seeds of Love – Tears For Fears (download)  It’s always a true test of the music journalist to see if they can avoid really obvious clichés – for example, comparing this song (and the video, and the album cover) to the Beatles in their psychedelic phase.  Thankfully, I’m not a music journalist.  So blah blah blah, Beatles Beatles Beatles.  Yes, the song wears its influences on its sleeve, from the sound of the snare drum (not produced by Jeff Lynne, I might add), to the lush orchestrations and harmonies, but I have a hard time finding fault with the song.  If I had to make a criticism, I suppose it might be that somehow, the lead-ins to the first two choruses have a majesty that doesn’t feel deserved to me so early in the song.  And that criticism probably doesn’t even make sense to anybody but me.  So download the song, and enjoy its nooks and crannies.  The bridge is fantastic.

3.  Miss You Much – Janet Jackson  This song was a big one for Janet Jackson.  Although Rhythm Nation 1814 was her fourth album, only her previous record, Control, had been a hit, with five Top 5 singles.  "Miss You Much" was the lead-off single from OU812 RN1814 and helped establish Jackson’s credbility as more than just a one-album artist.  Written by her powerhouse team, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, it was on the Hot 100 for a full five months, including four impressive weeks at #1.  Oh, and it wound up becoming the biggest-selling song of 1989, with over four million copies sold.  Janet’s career may be in question now, but there’s no doubt that "Miss You Much" made it damn clear that Miss Jackson was a force to be reckoned with.

2.  Cover Girl – New Kids On The Block  I feel fortunate that I’ve been able to make it through five Chart Attack! postings without an NKOTB mention, but I guess it had to happen at some point.  It may be hard to remember now, but at the time, this band was gigantic.  Five singles were released from their second album, Hangin’ Tough, and since I’ve sadly heard them all, I can safely say that this was the worst of the bunch.  And yet, it made it to #2, which seems odd, unless you recall that quality had very little to do with NKOTB’s success.  The songs were catchy, but the hype around them was unstoppable.  And once they were gone, it was hard to remember truly how huge they were…until nine or ten years later when it happened all over again, with Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync.

1.  Listen To Your Heart – Roxette  1989 was a good year for Roxette, essentially bookended by #1 singles.  "The Look" had been a #1 hit in January, and "Listen To Your Heart" hit #1 for this one week in November.  There are few musical similarities between the two songs:  "Listen To Your Heart" sounds like a Heart power ballad from the mid-80s, similar to "Alone" or "Never."  (I have confirmed that the two songs were not written by the same people.)  Another interesting tidbit: "Listen To Your Heart" was the first ever single to be released solely on cassette – no 45 RPM was issued.

If "Listen To Your Heart" has been in your head in recent years, you can blame a group called D.H.T., a dance/pop group from Belgium.  They released a remake of the song in their home country in 2003, and eventually reached the U.S. #8 in August of 2005.  D.H.T. has found popularity with two mixes: a sparse ballad version, and a driving trance version.  My gym seems to like the dance version a lot, so it’s been forced into my brain to the point where I actually find it tolerable – and lead singer Edmee has a fantastic voice.  Songwriters Per Gessle (also 1/2 of Roxette) and Mats Persson won BMI’s Dance Song of the Year for the tune in November 2005.  Don’t forget D.H.T., because we’ll be discussing them in an entry in the very near future.

And that brings us to the end of another CHART ATTACK!  Enjoy your rockin’ power ballad and your Beatle-esque tune, and I’ll see you back here next week for more chart-y goodness!