The Eighth Day Of Mellowmas: The Goldest Day

It’s Day 8 of the Jefito/Jason "Screw you, we’re not stopping with the shitty music, no matter how much you beg" 12 Days of Mellowmas!  And we’ve got one for you today from the man who somehow has a hand in more Mellow Gold music than is healthy: Andrew Gold!

As we mentioned last week, Andrew Gold has already influenced Mellowmas, simply by virtue of his production on America’s Holiday Harmony.  Jeff assures me this track is from an album entitled Steve Vaus Presents The Best Of The Stars Come Out For Christmas.  I can’t find it for easy purchase, and the cover is lame, so I just thought I’d post a picture of Andrew Gold.


(yes, Mike, he looks like me but with a beard. )

Andrew Gold – On Christmas Eve (download)

 

Jason: Another fade in. Is Ringo on this one too? What the fuck is with all this dialogue?

Jeff: Harpsichord-ish!

Jason: I feel like I’m watching Gold watch TV.

Jeff: Someone’s been listening to a lot of ELO.

Jason: When he recorded this, I bet he wore a costume of some sort.

Jeff: Ha! It was his "working musician" costume. It consists of an Andrew Gold World Tour 1977 t-shirt and a trucker hat that says "I Did More Than Just ‘Lonely Boy,’ You Know"

Jason: He’d never wear that shirt. People would say "What’s ‘Lonely Boy’?"

Jason: Chorus! Who are those people? They sound homeless.

Jeff: This is barely a song.

Jason: Wait, what are those gifts he listed? I’m rewinding.

Jason: Train for William, doll for Kathy. Or is it Kathie? Maybe he got a doll for Kathie Lee Gifford.  Tie for Daddy, "make them happy."  Okay.  First of all, Daddy got screwed.  He got a fucking tie. 

Jeff:  Everybody involved with this song got screwed.

Jason:  Second of all, anybody get the feeling Andrew Gold is a single dad?  I didn’t hear Mommy getting a gift.

Jeff: Mommy gets alimony. And half of the royalties from "Thank You for Being a Friend." Best of all, Mommy doesn’t have to listen to this shit anymore.

Jason: Well, at least it was short. It could have been much worse.

Jeff: Was it even 2:30 long?

Jeff: Imagine if Andrew Gold was your husband and you came home from a long day at work, supporting the family, and he played you this.

Jason: He’d be all like, "but I went out and recorded all those voices outside! It was a lot of work! And do you know how long it took me to find the "harpsichord" button on the Yamaha?"

Jeff: "And I’ve got America coming in next week!"

5 Responses to “The Eighth Day Of Mellowmas: The Goldest Day”

  1. Carlos Says:

    I’ve never heard this Andrew song…thanks!

    “You’ve Got A Friend” is classic.

    He’s even a “friend” of mine on MySpace.

  2. Py Korry Says:

    Do you think this was part of a musical Gold was working on? Because it sure sucks, er, SOUNDS like it was.

  3. Jamey Says:

    Just finished catching up on your posts for Mellomass and I must say the banter between you and Jeff is some of the funniest stuff I’ve read in quite a while!!! Even better than the banter on that gay pop music blog. (Sorry I forgot the name of it and the 2 guys that do it, doesn’t matter as you & Jeff are miles ahead.)
    Your blog fills a huge hole in the music blog world that is soooo overcrowded with Sufjan shit and the hundreds of Canadian and/or ‘indy rocker’  blogs. Thanks for the many laughs and for celebrating the greatness of so called wuss music!!!!!!
    …now I’m off to leave similar remarks on Jeff’s blog so he doesn’t get all jealous and start feeling left out…

  4. Py Korry » Blog Archive » Anyone Out There? Says:

    […] Anyway, what’s all this leading to?  I was not only thinking about cultural stuff because of the NY Times article, but also about my bloggy friends who write about what they want (I believe that would be all of ‘em!).  And if you haven’t had the, um, pleasure to listen to Jefito and Jason Hare’s commentary on Xmas songs recorded by soft rock acts from the 70s to the 90s, you should!  It’s painfully fun, and if you’re a person who likes a good, cynical laugh at the crap that the “gatekeepers” of culture tried to force feed down our collective throats in the past, I invite you to sample songs from the newly created holiday of “Mellowmas!” It’s the 9th day of Mellowmas, and today’s selection is one that gets a lot of airplay during this time of the year.  […]

  5. Elaine Says:

    You’re right, PK.  It does sound like part of a musical.  A suspiciously God-bless-us-everyone ripoff style musical.