Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold 20
Why, hello there, Mellow Miners! My, you’re looking fine today! I’m in a romantic mood. Maybe it’s because it’s Valentine’s Day, or maybe it’s because I’m giddy over making it to Mellow Gold post #20, but I’m in the mood for love. Barry White-type love: looooooove. Awwwww, yeahhhhh.
Oh, wait! I know why I’m in this mood! It’s because of our Mellow song, recommended by David, Scraps, and some guy named “Ugly A” from the comments of our very first Mellow Gold post. So let’s get right to it. Actually, no, let’s not: first, I’ll need you to prepare. Please, readers, get out your shag carpet, your lava lamp, your doorway beads, your incense, and your favorite bong. You know the one: it’s shaped like Michael McDonald’s head and plays “Minute By Minute” every time you take a hit. We’ll need all these things to appropriately tackle this smooth gem.
Starbuck – Moonlight Feels Right (download)
I repeat: Awwwww, yeahhhhh.
What makes “Moonlight Feels Right” a smooth, sexy, Mellow gem? I think a more appropriate question is: what doesn’t? But first, of course, I give you a brief history of the studs of Starbuck.
There you are, folks: Burt Reynolds and the Wolfman. Please note that I don’t believe either of them are wearing shirts underneath their jackets.
Actually, that’s Bruce Blackman, vocalist, keyboardist and producer, on the left, and Bo Wagner, marimba genius, on the right. And they’re here to get into your pants.
Wagner and Blackman were members of a number of different groups and musical projects before forming Starbuck. Wagner, if you can believe it, was once a musical director for Liberace. (I’m just going to let that one settle in.) The group went through enough personnel changes that my head is spinning. Let’s just leave it at this: a NYC record company, Private Stock Records, signed the group in 1975 and released “Moonlight Feels Right,” which went virtually unplayed until a DJ in Alabama picked up on it in 1976. (It seems we hear these DJ hero stories frequently around here, don’t we?) “Moonlight” was a smash, eventually peaking at #3 during the last week of July 1976.
Starbuck made a few other appearances in the Top 100, but personally, I don’t consider any of them hits. Maybe “Everybody Be Dancin’,” which hit #38, but it’s clear that it’s this one song for which Starbuck will always be remembered. And that’s clearly okay with Blackman, as he named the official Starbuck website MoonlightFeelsRight.com, which is where I attained most of this information. I like that the site doesn’t officially say it’s owned by Blackman, but come on. Only he could have written some of these detailed explanations in the footnotes of the discography.
My favorite part of the site, though, is the bio, which goes through the soap opera of member changes, and finishes with the “where are they now?” section (bold emphasis mine):
Today Blackman serves as CEO of his own music publishing and production companies. He is producing an album project on his daughter Sarah along with writing and producing for several other artists. He is affiliated with Sony/ATV and is busy working on several movie soundtrack projects. Wagner’s whereabouts are unknown. The other members of Starbuck continue to perform at various venues in the Atlanta area.
Here’s my theory: Wagner has since eaten the former members of Starbuck and currently is living in the Ozarks, living off the land and talking with bears.
But now, it’s time to analyze the song itself, which was responsible for 20% of all venereal diseases contracted in 1976. Lay back and relax as Starbuck takes you on a Mellow journey…to the skies!
First, the music. You guys remember Alan O’Day’s “allll riiiight” from “Undercover Angel?” Yeah. The entire song is sung in that voice. And the very first thing we hear in the entire song? A “wah” sound from the guitar. Then, lots of synths. I guarantee you that the guys in Starbuck already had their slacks down around their ankles by this point.
The rest of the verses feature light synth and marimba (more on the marimba in a second), leading up to the chorus: synthmania! And guess what? The “wah” is back! I don’t know (as in “I don’t care”) who played guitar on this one, but can you imagine being at the session? “No, Tony, all we need is like three notes, total. No, just three. And your Wah-wah pedal. You did bring your Wah-wah pedal, right? No? Jesus. You know it’s 1976, right? You’re fired.”
After verse two, we’re treated to an extended instrumental interlude: 24 bars’ worth, with 16 going to Wolfman’s marimba. Yes! Now this is what we needed: a marimba solo! Actually, I’ll be completely honest with you: this marimba solo kicks some major ass. I’m giving props to Blackman for allowing Wagner to go to town. I don’t know if there was a video for “Moonlight Feels Right,” but if there had been, it would have featured Wagner doing a tap-dance on a huge marimba. It would have been really bad green-screen, too. After “Moonlight Feels Right,” I imagine marimba players were either really excited to finally lose their virginity, or thought, “damn, now I have to get a haircut.”
The solo that follows the marimba is all synth, but is also impressive. In fact, I dare say it’s Stevie Wonder-esque. It kind of reminds me of the instrumental section at the end of “Summer Soft.” Then, we’re back into the verses, surrounded by – you guessed it – swirling synth and marimba. I’ll give this song credit for not trying to overextend itself: Blackman knows his way around those synthesizers, and if his only intention was to write a song slick n’ smooth enough to get him and Wolfie McWolfenstein some poontang…mission accomplished.
Let’s talk lyrics. And these lyrics, while intending to convey seduction, really only convey one thing: stohhhhned.
The wind blew some luck in my direction
I caught it in my hands today
I finally made a tricky French connection
you winked and gave me your o.k.
I’ll take you on a trip beside the ocean
and drop the top at Chesapeake Bay
ain’t nothing like the sky to dose a potion
the moon’ll send you on your way
Dude. Give me your keys. “Ain’t nothing like the sky to dose a potion?” What does that even mean? You don’t know, do you, Bruce? And the truth of the matter is: it’s okay. Because you definitely got laid as a result. Point: Blackman.
The lyrics get better. No, worse. No, better. Oh shit, I can’t decide.
We’ll lay back and observe the constellations
and watch the moon smiling bright
I’ll play the radio on southern stations
’cause southern belles are hell at night
Forgive me – I don’t expect you to understand this, but for some reason, those last two lines remind of this brilliant couplet from “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta:”
But real gangsta-ass niggas don’t flex nuts
Cuz real gangsta-ass niggas know they got em
Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Don’t spend any time trying to figure out how I tied Starbuck to the Geto Boys. Instead, spend your time explaining to me that whole “southern stations” bit. I’m beginning to wonder if this song was actually written during sex.
you say you came to Baltimore from Ole Miss
a class of ’74 gold ring (note: that’s pronounced “seven-four.” Smooth.)
the eastern moon looks ready for a wet kiss
to make the tide rise again
Okay. Point one: what’s with all the geography in this song? Chesapeake Bay? Baltimore? Ole Miss? Who cares? Was it just to get a rhyme with “kiss?” And speaking of the above-mentioned kiss, point two: ewwwww. Seriously? Ewww. “The eastern moon looks ready for a wet kiss?” Was it ‘ludes, Bruce? I’m thinking ‘ludes. You’re sick, dude, if you want to tongue-kiss the freakin’ moon.
That’s pretty much it for the lyrics, friends, other than the line “You guys, I am so high right now,” which was wisely edited out. But there’s one thing I’ve not mentioned as of yet. It’s at the end of every verse: “hahahaha.” It’s a creepy Bruce Blackman cackle. And it’s the only thing in the song that makes me wonder: maybe this guy wasn’t as cool as we think. Maybe he’s not singing this song to a girl. Maybe he’s sitting on a beach by himself, singing it to his faithful German Shepherd as they share a pint of Rocky Road. Actually, I have a scenario that’s much more likely: he did get the girl, and all was cool until Sunday morning, when his mom knocked on his door announcing that his laundry was ready to be put away.
While listening to “Moonlight Feels Right,” a picture of the singer came into my head. Except it wasn’t Blackman. I could see it vividly, but couldn’t place my finger on who it was. Then, finally, I figured it out.
Matthew McConaughey.
Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he’s a healthy blend of studly and sketchy. I can just completely picture him singing this song and totally getting boatloads of nookie (boatloads!) afterwards. I guess we should all be so lucky.
Note: after finishing this entry, I found a blog post on “Moonlight Feels Right” that clearly was written by my long-lost cousin or something. It’s hysterical, and I encourage you to read it. I’m mentioning this because if you ever came across it on your own, you’d swear I plagiarized this whole Mellow Gold Adventure. I promise you, I didn’t – and sadly, his post makes me feel like I’m the least original person on the planet: he even bolded the same part of the Starbuck biography in his writing. And here I thought I was going to go without a hetero Mellow valentine this year!
Well, my mellow friends, I hope that today’s song has put you in the mood for lovin’. Or in the mood for putting away your laundry. Either way, happy Valentine’s Day and we’ll see you next week for another edition of Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold!
February 14th, 2007 at 8:18 am
(several minutes of loud, ragged, uncontrollable laughter)
February 14th, 2007 at 8:29 am
And Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too. I am cackling too much to do anything worthwhile this morning!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:34 am
This might be the greatest “Mellow Gold” yet–and I say that as someone who was 16 years old when this record was a hit, and who considers it the one record he’d play to sum up what the summer of 1976 sounded like.
More marimba!
February 14th, 2007 at 9:47 am
I think every job description in the world gets better when you add “And I’m here to get into your pants.”
Fantastic post. You have taught us more about the genius of Starbuck than we have a right (and by “right” I mean “need”) to know. I love this song, and I dare anyone to find a better marimba solo out there.
Or, y’know, just find a marimba solo. Ha-ha-HAAaaaa …
February 14th, 2007 at 10:08 am
Look, I hate to be the white hot catheter up this urethra of fun, but trying to sync-up the humorous points of this post to the fact my parents used to really like this song… just makes me all dead-like inside.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I always thought it was "I’ll play the radio on seven stations." Which is equally stoned, if you think about it, but makes more sense grammatically. "Play the radio on Southern stations" makes it sound like he’s going to stop by the studio with a transistor radio and tune it on mic. You know, like performance art. Or the heretofore-unknown inspiration for the Flaming Lips’ <i>Zaireeka</i> period.
I can’t figure out what any of this has to do with the Geto Boys.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:50 am
I just wanted to say that, as an ex-Southerner now recovering on the West Coast, I can attest that, yes, southern belles are hell at night. This song always went hand in hand to me with Glen Campbell’s mellow classic "Southern Nights" (which dserves a highlight on this blog). Besides any euphemisms, I think he’s staright up talking about how, if you get all the correct elements in place like southern music and whisky, etc.. a southern girl – though prim and proper in the daylight – while totally get down and dirty at night. I equate it to the stereotype of Catholic girls in the Northeast – they’re the real party animals when the sun goes down.
February 14th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I’m impressed that you can write an entire post about this song without using the word "smarmy".
February 14th, 2007 at 11:56 am
It was the word you used in your original comment. I didn’t want to steal it. :)
February 14th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Ah! Yeah, I’m big on "smug" and "smarmy".
February 14th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
It occurs to me that Starbuck has not yet pulled the ultimate sleazebag move: trying to sue Starbucks Coffee for trademark infringement. It’s worth nothing that Survivor, the band, tried this with the producers of Survivor, the TV show, and lost. Perhaps, when you’re Starbuck, it can only help to share 8/9s of with your name with a well-known retailer with stores on every block.
February 14th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
All I have to say right now is that the McConaughey comparison is dead-on. Love it! I can definitely see his "Dazed and Confused" character singing "Moonlight Feels Right" (at least when no one’s around).
February 14th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Survivor tried to sue the Survivor producers? Good grief. It was also silly when Spike Lee tried to halt TNN from changing its name to Spike TV.
Maybe he’s sitting on a beach by himself, singing it to his faithful German Shepherd as they share a pint of Rocky Road.
I believe you’re referring to Mark Harmon in Summer School. Yes, he did score with Kirstie Alley, and if he hadn’t had a conscience, he could’ve scored with Courtney Thorne-Smith.
Starbuck formed in Atlanta, right? So that would explain the "southern stations" and Ole Miss references. And I wouldn’t be surprised if that DJ in Alabama played up the mention of southern stations.
February 14th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
One more thing — if you like Matt Damon or you just like people doing impressions of Matthew McConaughey, check this out.
February 14th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Robert, Mark Harmon in Summer School is EXACTLY what I was thinking of. I was going to mention it, but decided to wait to see if anybody would pick up on the reference. I’m impressed. Although in Summer School, I think they’re sharing peanut butter. I just thought Rocky Road sounded funnier.
February 14th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
You’re right, it was peanut butter (mixed with jelly, I believe — Harmon dipped a finger covered in peanut butter into the jelly jar and then licked the combo off his finger, but only after his dog had taken a turn, emphasizing that Harmon’s character is a lovable slob). And you’re right again — Rocky Road sounds better. Ah, the beauty of dramatic license!
February 14th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
This is the best MG post thus far. Which makes sense, because its the worst song thus far, maybe the worst song in existence. I cannot believe who lame this song is.
I enjoyed your many brilliant jokes, but none more than this:
your favorite bong. You know the one: it’s shaped like Michael McDonald’s head and plays "Minute By Minute" every time you take a hit.
I don’t smoke, and I still TOTALLY want one of these. Make this happen!
February 14th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
I was actually enjoying the song until the weirdass xylophone solo in the middle. Pretty fun tune though, loving the synths. As an Ole Miss grad student, that reference made me laugh. Ole Miss traditionally has the best looking girls of any school in the country (I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s def. up there, though as far as Southern schools go, Vanderbilt is hard to beat), so it’s very apt the girl would’ve gone there.
February 14th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
The University of Georgia has lots of pretty girls. Let’s battle it out, Stephen!
February 14th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Lets face it, its a GREAT song and all but that picture of those two dudes takes it to another leve ltogether. You could look like Robert John, Robert Holmes or these two psuedo pimps and still make it big on the charts!
Is Wagner related to the beret wearing dude in Seals and Crofts?
February 14th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Rupert Holmes, I mean!
February 15th, 2007 at 12:14 am
Bo Wagner joined the Sikh religon and help open a vegetarian resturant in Atlanta Ga
in the late 70s the last I saw of him Star buck was the house band for a place called The Stone Pony in Atlanta
February 15th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
*laughter*
Sorry, Bruce and Bo, if you’re out there — we’re laughing with you, not at you. I do think that Bruce looks more like Doug Henning’s older, more sophisticated brother. And by “sophisticated” I mean “popular with the ladies.” Though, that’s there the Burt Reynolds comparisons come in.
http://www.compumagic.com/magic/dh/images/WalkThruWall.jpg
Great job Jason :) So funny. That song is just terrible.
February 15th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Oh, forgot to mention, you’re thinking of Matthew McConaughey’s movie “Failure to Launch.” Awful flick which cemented the professional-student persona in our collective heads. WTG, Matt!
February 15th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
I think I’ve mentioned Doug Henning at least three other times on Mellow Gold. Amazing. The guy never even had any Billboard hits.
February 15th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
I’m not afraid to admit I actually like this song, and the marimba solo has a lot to do with that. The Matthew McConaughey/"Dazed and Confused" connection is spot on, and I too want a Michael McDonald bong. Oh, and my favorite line in your review is "I guarantee you that the guys in Starbuck already had their slacks down around their ankles by this point."
February 15th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
“Terrible,” Elaine?
You wound me.
February 15th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Beats the heck out of anything Apollo ever did.
February 15th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
I had to do my own post, especially after finding AllMusic’s rare snarky outburst.
February 16th, 2007 at 12:01 am
Starbuck – because nothing says "hetero" quite like two open-shirted, pornostached men standing uncomfortably close to each other.
February 16th, 2007 at 10:21 am
[…] Jason enters the Mines of Mellow Gold and comes out with a big ol’ piece of pyrite. […]
February 16th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Presumably it isn’t THIS Bo Wagner: http://alversonentertainment.com/artists/index.html
February 16th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
I’m so sorry, David! Please forgive me. I meant “terrifically terrible.” You know. Terrible, as in Ivan The. Awesome and stupendous and overpowering.. and to be… feared.
Tell you what, I’d like to offer you an apology gift. Here are some sample marimba solos that I found!
http://www.honeyrock.net/solo-mx.htm
(You can’t blame me because they all sound like someone is playing a wind chimes. I won’t take that rap.)
And here! Another groovy picture of Bruce Blackman.
http://www.moonlightfeelsright.com/images/bruce-small.jpg
friends?
February 16th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
I love that picture of Blackman. He’s got this mischievous look on his face, like "ooops, did THAT just pop out of my zipper?"
February 16th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Hey Jason..Another classic entry.Love your site and one of my few must reads weekly.I was the one that suggested the Undercover Angel post, so you can blame me (LOL).Tried to email you, but got kicked back. Has it changed? Anyway, believe it or not, there is a remix to the Starbuck tune that you might want from a guy called GrooveBlaster. http://www.thegrooveblaster.com/music/index.htm He mostly does original music that has a 70’s feel, but he did do a remix of this last year. Not to worry, he does not "trance" it up-it mostly stays true to the original. thought you might enjoy it…email me if you do not have the link.Since I have done it before, here is a suggestion for mellow gold in the future. How about Champaign? Even though they were geared towards R&B, they had 2 hits always on the top 40 radio and both were Mellow Gold from the 80’s-How Bout Us and Try Again. Harks back to the days when it was always a good bet on the old cassette mix tape, for the late night booty call with an ex you really had no intention of getting back together with (but the songs would leave them to think otherwise). In case your memory needs jogging, here is a link to the song on You Tube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emSTcscCynk
February 16th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Triple G – sorry about the e-mail issue – I think it should be fixed within the next few hours (hopefully) – let me know if you still have any problems.
I didn’t see the specific link to "Moonlight Feels Right" on the GrooveBlaster page – am I just missing it?
"How ‘Bout Us" has been on my list for a while. I can’t tell you how many times I wake up with that freakin’ song in my head. "Try Again" is pretty much the same song, so they’d both qualify!
Thanks for suggesting "Undercover Angel" – or maybe not. :)
February 16th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I’m guessing you didn’t get laid on Valentine’s Day if you uttered "The eastern moon looks ready for a wet kiss" in jest.
February 17th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Oh, wow. That … that’s a lotta marimba. All is forgiven.
February 18th, 2007 at 5:27 am
[…] May I point you to a fantastic song review? Jason Hare takes apart “Moonlight Feels Alright” by Starbuck. Several hundred words of goodness and incisive insight, but here are some highlights: “… Please, readers, get out your shag carpet, your lava lamp, your doorway beads, your incense, and your favorite bong. You know the one: it’s shaped like Michael McDonald’s head and plays “Minute By Minute” every time you take a hit. We’ll need all these things to appropriately tackle this smooth gem. […]
February 19th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
Would you consider doing a post on Van Stephenson’s "Modern Day Delilah" sometime? Seriously, look at this LP cover and tell me the guy doesn’t have issues that need exploring:http://www.amazon.com/Righteous-Anger-Van-Stephenson/dp/B00000B1JC
February 19th, 2007 at 7:08 pm
Hmm. “Modern Day Delilah” … dunno that it ever broke the top ten, so no Chart Attack. “Heart Over Mind” is a ballad, but not Mellow Gold. Not in any movies I can think of offhand, so there goes Lost Soundtrack Classics.
Great album, though. Maybe Jefito could dissect it in “Cutouts Gone Wild” …?
February 27th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
You devil you. How did you get into my brain? Figuring out MAtthew MC. is brilliant, but you have the wrong pic. Go to my blog and scroll down for the REAL deal. Trust me.
August 25th, 2007 at 4:34 am
With that pic of McConaughey and all the "Dazed and Confused" mentions, I can totally hear that marimba groovin’ while he delivers his immortal line "That’s what I love about these high school girls, man… I get older, they all stay the same age!"
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:49 pm
You linked to this again, so I just had to link again to my recent blog comment exchange with one Bo Wagner, whose whereabouts are NOT unknown:
http://mostlymodernmedia.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/marimba-player-sighting/#comment-691
Great to hear from him.
January 22nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Yes, Beau! I totally forgot to respond to that — so sorry! That is pretty damn awesome!
November 8th, 2013 at 5:51 pm
brilliant article !! I was in America in 1976 , coming from France . I was looking for this song for years and finally found it. it is still THE soundtrack of my US vacations. It is great but it is true that the clip is a killer.