But one morning, the radio station on my alarm started Jewel’s “You Were Meant For Me” right when it went off so I decided to give it a chance. I listened to the whole thing, something I will never do again. I believe I started yelling something like, “What? She’s writing about making fucking breakfast? Breakfast?! If this girl made me pancakes and whined at me like this, I’d leave her too. Stupid pajamas! Stupid song! Now I’m hungry!”

My roommate just laughed hysterically. She was used to this sort of thing, I guess. I did have a parody version but it’s long been erased from my memory. Oh, it was “You Were Meant To Eat” or something, trying to keep the food theme. It’s been a while.

God, I hate that song.

The Spice Girls’ first album, "Spice," is pretty good.  I heard it for the first time three years ago and was surprised how many decent songs are on it.  I’d always liked "Say You’ll Be There," but "Wannabe" was suddenly good now that it wasn’t being shoved down my throat, and there were several non-singles that I liked as well.  I even told a classmate at the time that I liked "Spice" and she said, "Are you trying to be funny?  Because if you are, I’ll be mad.  I LOVE that album."

I didn’t realize that cover of "Hard to Say I’m Sorry" was from ‘97.  Or maybe the "You’re the Inspiration" cover is the one that I heard on nighttime radio call-in shows like "Delilah" over and over again around 2000.  Either way, those covers have been tossed onto the same pile in my brain as All-4-One’s "I Swear" and the country cover of that song, which was performed by … ah, who gives a shit.

Thank you, BD, for mentioning Paula Cole’s "say a little prayer for I" lyric in "I Don’t Want to Wait."  Did anyone mention that line over at Jefitoblog last weekend in his round-up of bad lyrics?  It’s a line you’d miss if you weren’t listening closely, and I’m sure that’s what Paula was counting, but still …  (Should I mention here that I became obsessed with "Dawson’s Creek" in syndication a couple of years ago?  It’s terrible and brilliant all at once.)

I don’t remember "Return of the Mack," but it (obviously) wasn’t played on the adult-contemporary station we listened to at the UGA Library in 1997, and that was my only exposure to the radio in those days for the most part.  Now that I’ve heard it, I dig it.

I didn’t like "MMMBop" at the time.  Maybe I’d like it more now.  (All I remember of it is the chorus.)  But I do think Hanson still deserves respect.

"I Want You" hasn’t gotten better with age or my nostalgia for my junior year of college.  Savage Garden was the Air Supply of the ’90s in a way — two Australian guys singing songs about heterosexual love even though at least one of them isn’t really into that sort of thing.  A guy who directed a sketch show I was in two years ago LOVED Savage Garden and wanted to score one silent sketch with "I Want You."  Eventually he went with Steve Winwood’s "Higher Love," thank goodness.  But I don’t begrudge him his love for Savage Garden.  Wave that freak flag high, sir.

I seem to remember the problem people had with Puff Daddy’s sampling back in ‘97 was that it was too easy.  Sampling had progressed quite a bit since "Rapper’s Delight" in 1979, but Puff Daddy seemed to want it to regress: a chunk of "I’m Coming Out" or "Let’s Dance" played throughout the entirety of the song was good enough for him.  It almost seemed like he was thumbing through Top 10 lists from the ’80s, just like the ones we’ve seen on this site, and saying "Ooh, everybody remembers this song!  Perfect.  My homework is done."  Has anyone else here heard Chris Rock’s  "Champagne," a 1997 parody of Puff Daddy productions?  He makes a good point — back in the ’70s the Isley Brothers weren’t singing "T-Neck in the motherfuckin’ house" the way Puff Daddy keeps reminding you he runs Bad Boy.  Why?  "BECAUSE NOBODY GAVE A FUCK."

I prefer wannabe to mmmbop, but I guess the satisfaction you get from either one of them is the same.
Az yet’s Last Night is a really beautiful ballad

I am a Hanson fan, and I’ll tell you why. Any band capable of dragging MTV (not kicking and screaming, but whining and unbathed) from the doldrums of GRUNGE and “Modern Rock” as a genre, is ay-okay with me. They were bubblegummy, but, like you said, they knew it. And they are solid musicians, and more or less upstanding dudes from what I can tell.

Just thinking about Jewel’s breaking egg yolks and making a smiley face makes me want to hurl. And that babydoll voice is even worse than the lyric. Let’s not even get into the future firehose-shooting-between-her-legs video, and her lies about how she intended for it to be satire.

Paula Cole. Have you checked her out lately? She’s somewhere back in her “authentic culture” of the eastern US, thinking too much. http://www.paulacole.com/ (I can dig someone ditching the shallow L.A. basin, but come ON.) In any event, her bad grammar, yucky man-hating outlook and haughty attitude embarrassed me in 1997. And it always bugged me that the doo-doot, d-doo-doot seems like a direct ripoff of Sarah Mac’s “Plenty” off her first album. Yeah I know they’re Lilith Faire buddies. That’s strike number six. And remember what Pop Up Video said about the crew during the video for this week’s song? They said she was so sexually charged that several crew members became aroused. Lord have mercy, gag me right down the street.

The only thing that comes to mind about Savage Garden is the way Rosie O’Donnell used to gush about them. This was way back in the Before Times, when she had her own afternoon talk show and was called The Queen of Nice.

(Though I will confess to serenading my then-girlfriend with Jewel’s “You Were Meant For Me,” playing the opening verse with my band before launching into Bad Company’s “Feel Like Makin’ Love.” We’re ten years married now. Huzzah!)