CHART ATTACK! #36: 6/14/86
Howdy, and welcome back to another Friday edition of CHART ATTACK! The week we’re attacking this time ’round is a bit depressing – 60% ballads, with only one of them having any type of hopeful message (and that one sucks, anyway). Thankfully, most of the songs, in general, are solid tunes – and oh so synth-a-rific! Let’s take a look at the charts from June 14, 1986!
10. Something About You – Level 42 Amazon iTunes
9. All I Need Is A Miracle – Mike + The Mechanics Amazon
8. No One Is To Blame – Howard Jones Amazon iTunes
7. A Different Corner – George Michael Amazon iTunes
6. Greatest Love Of All – Whitney Houston Amazon iTunes
5. Crush On You – The Jets Amazon iTunes
4. There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) – Billy Ocean Amazon iTunes
3. I Can’t Wait – Nu Shooz Amazon iTunes
2. Live To Tell – Madonna Amazon iTunes
1. On My Own – Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald Amazon iTunes
10. Something About You – Level 42 (download)
I’m coming clean: I absolutely know nothing about Level 42 (which seems to be right on-par with the rest of the non-music geek section of America). I went over to Wikipedia to find out, um, something about them (sorry), and saw this huge bio. I try to do as much research as I can for these things, but I don’t love you guys enough to read all of this. If anybody else has some really interesting facts you’d like to share about Level 42, by all means, share ’em in the comments. Or hell, write an Idiot’s Guide for Jefito. They certainly have had an extensive, successful career outside of this country. I really do love the song – Mike accurately labeled them as "a funkier version of Tears For Fears" – mainly due to the bass and vocals, courtesy of Mark King, who is the only original member left in the band. Yes, they’re still around.
9. All I Need Is A Miracle – Mike + The Mechanics
Somewhat off-topic, but did anybody ever figure out what these guys had against the ampersand, and why we didn’t subsequently say the band’s name as "Mike Plus The Mechanics?" Anyway, "All I Need Is A Miracle" is a great song – it’s got that driving beat that makes you want to sing it on a summer day while cruising with the top down, only to quickly stop and make sure nobody saw you doing it. Let’s give some props to Mike Rutherford – who would have thought he was going to reach the Top 10 without Genesis – multiple times, even? All three singles from their debut album reached the Top 40 – and two of the videos – this one and the one for "Taken In" – contained a goofy plotline in which British actor Roy Kinnear (best known for his role in Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory) portrayed their manager, and tried to keep Mike and plus his Mechanics out of trouble. Madcap hilarity ensues. (Slight digression: did you know that Kinnear died when he fell off a horse bled to death during the filming of The Return Of The Musketeers, and director Richard Lester (of Superman II fame) quit directing as a result?)
Well, that was a depressing way to end the entry. On to the video!
[youtube]rMeM4EMi1bk[/youtube]
8. No One Is To Blame – Howard Jones (download)
Howard Jones wrote some fantastic, quintessential ’80s songs – "Things Can Only Get Better," "Everlasting Love," "Like To Get To Know You Well" (whassup, Better Off Dead?) – but "No One Is To Blame" is, undoubtedly, his best. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing this song. I remember hearing it on the radio as a kid, and going to the library to borrow the record Dream Into Action – only the version I on the album sounded nothing like the version I heard on the radio. What I didn’t know at the time was that Jones had recorded the song for the aforementioned album, then re-recorded it featuring Phil Collins’ production, as well as his drums and his unbelievably beautiful harmony vocal. I think I wound up taping "No One Is To Blame" by sticking a tape recorder in front of my TV’s speaker while the video played on MTV. (Anybody ever done that?) It’s just about impossible to improve upon this version. Oh, and Mike will kill me if I don’t mention the beautiful fretless bass on this track.
Two things I had a really hard time getting past, though:
1) The spoken "is to blame" at the end of the song. Ugh.
2) The hairdo.
I remember one of the whizzes at summer camp was able to sequence the entire backing track into his keyboard, somehow. 20 years have gone by and I’m still trying to figure out how to do it.
In 1992, Jones, famous for his extensive synthesizer work, went on tour armed with only an acoustic piano and a percussionist. Here’s "No One Is To Blame" from that tour, available on Live Acoustic America (Amazon – iTunes – eMusic). It’s not perfect (no need to repeat the last section, and I’m not a fan of the way he occasionally slows the track), but this version proves how well the song works musically when it’s stripped down to the basics.
Howard Jones – No One Is To Blame (live) (download)
Here’s a performance from the 1986 Prince’s Trust Gala. Not the best performance by Jones, but I thought I’d include it here, just in case you wanted to see Phil Collins, Ray Cooper, Mark Knopfler (and – I think – Eric Clapton on the right?) join in on the song.
[youtube]eLEA4xc9-C0[/youtube]
7. A Different Corner – George Michael
This is the second time George sold Andrew Ridgeley down the river by including a solo tune on a Wham! album. (The first, of course, being "Careless Whisper.") The problem with this song is that it just never goes anywhere. He puts in a great vocal performance as usual, but at the end of the day, it’s really just 4 minutes of George Michael whining, which was uncharacteristic of his ballads. "A Different Corner" was a chart-topper in the UK – Michael became the first solo artist to reach #1 with his first two releases at the time – but in the States, he stalled here at #7. I don’t think America needed another George Michael ballad at the time – and the fact that he publicly stated that this song meant more to him than "Careless Whisper" probably didn’t help matters.
Plus, this video features George’s worst haircut ever (seriously, ever) against a sea of TOO MUCH WHITE. And all I can think is, "man, this guy is really, really hairy."
[youtube]GsinptPnPjA[/youtube]
6. Greatest Love Of All – Whitney Houston
5. Crush On You – The Jets
I suppose I can’t blame them, seeing as we’re talking about 1986 here, but is it too much to ask to just have one instrument be of the analog variety? This song is suffering from serious synth overload, opening with the Roland TR-808 cowbell that was used in the beginning of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" and about 300 George Michael songs. Still, it’s a solid pop/dance song, and was the band’s first entry onto the Hot 100, peaking at #3. Although the topic of the song is a bit tedious (let me contemplate all the way in which you might have found out about this crush I’ve been trying to hide from you!), the lyrics are actually a tad smarter than you’ll get from most dance songs today. (Unlike some other Jets songs, though, I don’t think this one was penned by Rupert Holmes. I’m dead serious.)
Anyway, the point here is that the song is passable, but I’m getting frustrated that I’ve covered two Jets songs in the past few weeks and neither one is "Rocket 2 U."
4. There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) – Billy Ocean
Way to go, Billy. When the going gets tough, the tough use contractions. Who puts a word like "There’ll" in a song at all, let alone in the freaking title? And again with the parentheses! Why? It’s unnecessary! Just "There’ll Be Sad Songs" is enough. It’s not like anyone was going to confuse it with the sad songs that said so much in 1985. I have absolutely nothing else to say about this song. Except I wish Michael McDonald had sung it.
3. I Can’t Wait – Nu Shooz
Every time I play a synthesizer, I eventually make my way to the "special effects" section, where I can judge such esteemed brands as Kurzweil, Korg, Yamaha and Roland purely based on their ability to provide me 88 different tones of a ringing telephone. There’s always an effect that is supposed to replicate the human voice, but I have yet to find a synth that replicates the "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" sound from "I Can’t Wait." And I will not buy a new fucking keyboard until that happens.
Speaking of that synth sound – is it just me or did this dude just go the least bit overboard? We get it, dude, your Yamaha makes the Oh Face. Let’s move on.
My compadre Jeff has informed me that Nu Shooz have reunited. Man! First it was The Pixies, then The Police, then Genesis, then Crowded House, and now, finally, Nu Shooz! It’s about time! All I need now is for Klymaxx to get back together.
But that’s not all! They’re released – you know what’s coming, right? – "I Can’t Wait (Unplugged)." Here’s a sample from iTunes. I don’t know what to think. It’s not so bad, but you have to completely detach it from the original. They don’t even attempt to replicate the synth sound! No breathy, jazzy "oh" sounds. Boo! Also, I can’t roller skate to it, so it sucks. I roller skated to this song all the time. I’m going to go roller skating right after I finish this chart.
2. Live To Tell – Madonna
This was only the second ballad Madonna ever released as a single, and I don’t count "Crazy For You" ’cause I think that’s a relatively stupid song. "Live To Tell," however, is one of my favorite Madonna songs. Her vocal is particularly beautiful, and I love the production – courtesy of Patrick Leonard, appearing for the first time as a producer on a Madonna single. That being said, I don’t know what she’s talking about or the secret that she has learned, although I do know that until she lives to tell it, it will burn inside of her.
As always, Madonna is thoroughly covered and analyzed on Wikipedia, so go nuts.
1. On My Own – Patti LaBelle and 
I don’t love this song – Patti LaBelle’s voice is a bit whiny for my tastes, and sounds like she could go off-pitch at any minute. ("She’s weaving all over the correct pitch like a drunk driver " – Mike) However, you-know-who gives a stunning performance (as always). So I’ll say that McD deserves the #1, but Patti does not. I guess it doesn’t matter what I think, since both of them had the biggest hit of their respective solo careers. Sadly, this song – written by Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager – was ousted from the top spot after only three weeks, by that bastard Billy Ocean. It’s a shame. Any song featuring Michael McDonald deserves at least 6-12 weeks at #1. Maybe more.
Patti and McD recorded their parts completely separate from one another, and did the same for its ivdeo as well, as if it wasn’t immediately apparent from the director’s "split-screen" concept.
[youtube]9VZaKA8AkcI[/youtube]
I love how both of them have serious hair issues: Patti’s hair is about to take over the world, and McD’s beard is about to eat his face. You can barely see his mouth moving.
Here are two performances of "On My Own." I can’t get over how fucking annoying Patti LaBelle is. How much do you think McD had to drink in order to get through these performances without shoving his foot up her ass?
And on that note, I’m outta here! Have a great weekend, and we’ll be back here next week for another edition of CHART ATTACK!
June 15th, 2007 at 8:48 am
From the "What’s goin’ down" episode of "That’s My Momma." A million years later, and this is still top-notch funny. Thank you for the reminder of this scene, J.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Wow, Whitney really has let herself go. LOL.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:35 am
I have vague memories of seeing another Level 42 video, one that consisted of some indifferent cymbal playing and a few shots of Mark King being a jerk to the female protagonist. But the magazines catering to bass players went absolutely nuts over King, even though it would be a piece of cake to replicate that slap on a keyboard.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:28 am
You mean he’s actually playing the bass? I have no doubt that the really early Level 42 stuff had Mark King bringin’ the stiff white Britfunk, but I always assumed anything from World Machine and thereafter was sequenced.(And I mean no disrespect to the guys, either…their ’88 album Staring at the Sun is still one of my favorites)
June 15th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
This is one of the best Chart Attacks ever Jason. The pondering on the "+" is something I never thought about before, probably because no one ever called them Mike PLUS the Mechanics, but then…why didn’t they? Why did everybody assume it was "and"? I don’t get it.BTW, Jason, are you playing @ the Bitter End tonight? You mentioned it in last week’s CA!, but you’ve said nary a word about it since. Is it some sort of sinigle-song or mini-set that you don’t think is worth advertising to your legions of adoring fans? Or is the Washington Park guy going to be there, and you want to keep the illusion alive that he sounds like a ferret?
June 15th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
Matthew,
I’m honored that you noticed/remembered! Yes, we are playing at The Bitter End tonight. I meant to post about it, but just putting up the two posts per week here (plus rehearsals and stuff) has kept me busy enough. Also, I don’t think I have legions of adoring fans, unless I count you and S.M. Bolin.
That being said, here’s the information for anybody interested (seems a bit late to do an actual post about it now):
EVIL PRINCE LUDWIG THE INDESTRUCTIBLE
Friday, June 15th
9:15 PM
The Bitter End
147 Bleecker Street (between Thompson and LaGuardia)
New York City, NY 10012
(212) 673-7030
Cover: $8.00 (mention you’re there to see Evil Prince Ludwig at the door – we get credit for how many people we bring)
2-drink minimum if you sit at a table
BTW, this is probably a topic for another post, but the Washington Park D-Bag is actually back in town. I asked Mike to invite him, but we assume he wouldn’t come because a) it costs money (I’ve invented this idea that he’s a cheapskate), and b) he’s not on stage performing.
June 15th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
In short order: never had a driving urge to buy a Level 42 ANYTHING, but man, "Something About You" is pretty great. I think the bridge and chorus remind me of somebody else and that’s where the affinity lies… It also sounds a tiny bit like The Fixx. You’re a very smart man, Jason. Any critique of "Greatest Love Of All" would have paled in comparison to the mighty Sexual Chocolate! You’ve picked your battles well, laddie. "Live To Tell" is second to "Oh Father" but just above "Frozen" in my top three Maddy picks. Have you ever wondered if Howard Jones, Princess Buttercup and Inigo Montoya lived happily ever after? I know exactly what you mean about Patti LaBelle on "On My Own", and I think everyone else does if they listen again… It’s right at that moment of counterpoint when she sings, "This wasn’t how it was supposed to BEEAAAAAAAH…. (over the cliff, down the ravine, voice trails into Canadian Goose oblivion)… DwD
June 15th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
"I have vague memories of seeing another Level 42 video, one that consisted of some indifferent cymbal playing and a few shots of Mark King being a jerk to the female protagonist."
1987’s "Lessons in Love," maybe? I haven’t seen it in forever, but that was Level 42’s follow-up hit to "Something About You," I believe. Good Lord, I love "Something About You." Pretty much a perfect song. I heard the eight-minute "Shep Pettibone Remix" a few months ago for the first time; Mark King RAPS in the middle of it, but it works! The foundation is solid. You can’t tear down that building no matter what you try.
The summer of ’86 … great, great memories.
June 15th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
She’s even worse in one of the video clips I posted. McD sings "Now I know what loving you costs," and she ad-libs with "Oh, no you don’t, no you don’t." She’s like the worst improv partner in history.
With you all the way on "Oh Father."
June 15th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
I think “No One Is To Blame” is actually Phil Collins best song. His drumming is tight and precise, the production is slick, but that slickness works perfect with Jones’ electronic sound, oh and yes, he barely sings on it.
I saw Jones in concert in ’86 and it was one of the most enjoyable shows I experienced. His drummer stood throughout the entire concert, playing all of the bass drums parts with his right hand and everything else with the left. The electronic drums were suspended above his head, allowing him plenty of space to move to the music. Jones was such a positive person on stage; the whole show was a delight. And of course, Frozen Ghost opened up for him.
June 15th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Ah, an interesting week–
Level 42: They seem to be remembered most for Mark King’s bass playing–I recall hearing that his thumb was insured for a million quid. I don’t quite get it–I dig L42, but I don’t think his playing stands out compared to, say, Mick Karn, Nick Beggs, or Peter Hook…
Howard Jones: I dislike this song not because it’s bad–it’s quite good, I admit, especially the lyrics and vocal–but because it’s where Jones turns from Synth Hippie to Bland AC star. Human’s Lib is wonderful; a synthpop record for people who don’t like synthpop…
Nu Shooz: It always baffled me that they were considered a “white soul” band, ’cause it sounds like synthpop to me. Somehow I ended up with a comp of their 12″ singles, which isn’t nearly as bad as you’d think it would be.
Madonna: Almost certainly the best vocal in Madonna’s career. It’s to the soundtrack of a forgotten-but-not-bad movie, At Close Range, which may explain the obscure lyrics. Terri Nunn did an excellent cover of this for a Madonna tribute CD; unsurprisingly, her vocal is even better…
LaBelle/McDonald: Hated it! I do remeber being amused that this slow, tedious song had a 12″ dance remix.
Malchus: Frozen Ghost?! Nice. “Should I See” is an awesome song…
June 17th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I didn’t know that bit of Richard Lester trivia, Jason. By the way, I will never get around to telling you what I thought of “Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut,” because now I can barely remember what I saw back in early January. It did make me realize, however, that Gene Hackman should send a thank-you note to Lester, because even though Lester didn’t shoot any scenes with Hackman, he edited his performance brilliantly to only contain his funniest lines. Donner adds back in a bunch of crappy dialogue between Hackman and Valerie Perrine that goes nowhere.
Okay, back to songs from the summer of ’86! I’m surprised how many of these were in the top 10 in mid-June. “All I Need Is a Miracle,” “Crush on You,” and “There’ll Be Sad Songs”? I don’t remember them from that time period at all, but there’s the evidence. Good point about “There’ll Be Sad Songs.” Someone should write a song called “Who’re You (To Call Me That).”
I love “I Can’t Wait” almost as much as I love “Something About You.” And I thought the female half of Nu Shooz was Carrie Fisher-like in 1986, so I had a crush on her (but not on the Jets). Nu Shooz had a follow-up that fall that tanked, I think, and I may have it on a Rhino “Disco Years” compilation, but I can’t remember the name of the song right now.
Jason, I’m sure you’ve heard the song by now, but at work recently I found a Beth Nielsen Chapman CD from 2005 at the bottom of a promo pile, and the second song on the album, “Right Back Into the Feeling,” is a duet with Michael McDonald. I like it.
Patti LaBelle may go a little crazy with her vocals sometimes, but she’s great. Were we talking about the “Beverly Hills Cop” soundtracks here recently? Maybe that was Chartburn over at Jefitoblog. In any case, Patti’s “Stir It Up” was a better song from that movie than “New Attitude,” but the latter got played a lot more. I heard LaBelle’s song (the group, not Patti solo) “What Can I Do for You?” for the first time last year and loved it. I think the Meters play on it and Allen Toussaint produced it during the same sessions that created “Lady Marmalade.”
June 18th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I was a Top 40 DJ during the summer of ’86, and I can say that from the radio point of view, few records ever seemed more pointless than “Crush on You”–when it became apparent that it was going to be a hit and I’d have to play it, I couldn’t figure out anybody heard in it. As for “I Can’t Wait,” the moment I heard that oh-oh-oh hook Jason likes, Ie thought, “Christ that’s annoying, and I’m going to have to play it every three hours all summer.” With you on Patti LaBelle, though—she’s way too screechy for MMcD’s eternal cool. And “No One Is to Blame” is THE record of that summer.
June 18th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
There is a live version of "No One Is To Blame" available on last year’s "80’s Hits Stripped" that is similar to the KSCA one, but was recorded in front of a live audience. It’s fun to hear the crowd singing with him. He’s a madman.
June 20th, 2007 at 12:37 am
From "On My Own": "Now we’re talking divorce, and we weren’t even married." Some of the worst lyrics ever!
I just downloaded the Shep Pettibone remix of "Something About You" and I have to agree, that little "rap" in the middle is quite nice. I’ll the post the link if you want it.
June 20th, 2007 at 5:09 am
Sure, why shouldn’t we all suffer? And I love Shep Pettibone.
June 20th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
I downloaded it from here
http://duranduran.no/cms/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=156&Itemid=34
Enjoy!
June 21st, 2007 at 12:00 pm
I love Level 42. If anyone is thinking about trying them, I suggest starting with the first album "Level 42." You’ll recognize more of the songs than you thought you would. It’s a collection of eight songs, and each of them is stunning. "Starchild" is my favorite. From there, while "Something About You" is a great song, from the same album (1985’s "World Machine"), I think the title track is even better. The production value of their albums is fantastic. It’s hard to keep in mind that first album is from 1981! If anyone is familiar with the name Wally Badarou, he played on the first record, then did a lot of production work with the band for many years after.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am
[…] memories surrounding it. I did like the extreme overuse of the TR-808 cowbell (discussed in CHART ATTACK! #36). And how about some of these […]