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Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold 41: Concert Edition!


Welcome back, folks, to another edition of Adventures Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold! This week’s post is going to be a bit different, since I attended a real, live Mellow Gold concert last Friday. I figure this is the perfect place to write about it!

Mellow Gold Concert Review:
Air Supply and John Waite, 7/20/07

Yes, you read that correctly. But you’re not really surprised, are you?

This past Friday, I took my mother to go see this concert at Westbury Music Fair North Fork Theatre at Westbury. My mother was a big Air Supply fan back in the day (“the day” = “back when they were popular”). She owned all of their records, and even a few of their 45s. I remember a day back in ’85, before the concert, when she surprised me by bringing home their new, self-titled album on the day of its release. (She also brought Hall & Oates’ Big Bam Boom home that day – but I was far more excited about Air Supply. My entire existence should now make sense to you.)

Times changed, though. Air Supply stopped having hits; 1985’s “Just As I Am” was their last significant single, reaching #19 in June of that year. I can remember maybe one song off of their 1986 album, Hearts In Motion. I bought my mom their album The Earth Is… back in 1991, which I believe may have received one listen before being relegated to the glove compartment of our ’88 Camry. My mom hadn’t really listened to Air Supply in 15 years.

So why did I buy her tickets? Simple: Richard Marx, Kenny Loggins and Lionel Richie aren’t touring. Had to do something. It was her Mother’s Day gift, and kind of a sentimental event for us: 22 years ago, she took me to Westbury Music Fair to see Air Supply. It was my first concert. I was eight. Neither of us had seen the band since 1985.

Anyway, my mother didn’t seem too enthused about the concert; she seemed more amused than anything else, but certainly not excited. I, on the other hand, was psyched. A few months ago, I had a few extra eMusic credits lying around, so I picked up The Singer And The Song – an “unplugged” disc by Air Supply. I was surprised at how well a number of the songs translated to the format – and how both of them still seemed to be in fine voice. So I was psyched for the show, despite the fact that it was a co-headline with John Waite. I mean, nothing against him, but all he was doing (in my humble opinion) was shortening the length of the Air Supply show. But I digress. On to the review!

I was pretty certain that Waite was going to be opening for Air Supply, as Waite’s had two hits and Air Supply’s had, like, a zillion. So we took our time getting to the venue. Sure enough, when we arrived, Waite had already taken to the stage and was making his way through “Back On My Feet Again,” which I later found out was a song from his previous band, The Babys. As we found our seats, I was disappointed; North Fork Theatre is in the round, and the stage rotates, so with the exception of maybe one section, you’re pretty much guaranteed a good view for a portion of the show. I hadn’t realized that this show was being presented in the half-round, which means the stage doesn’t rotate. So our seats, while nice and close (fourth row), were extreme stage right. My disappointment, though, was quickly forgotten as I set my gaze on John Waite’s Lyle-Lovett-In-Training pompadour.

So after “Back On My Feet Again,” Waite played “When I See You Smile.” Then he played another song, and then “Missing You.” Like the rest of the audience, I was psyched to hear “Missing You.” But at this point, I had absolutely no clue what else he could play. I screamed for “Missing You” again, but it fell on deaf ears. He did a few more of his own songs, and then a cover of Bob Dylan’s “Girl From The North Country” (not bad) and Led Zeppelin’s “Rock And Roll” (not good). He also played another Babys tune which sounded pretty good – I’m not sure of the name, but I know that I was able to sing “All Right Now” over the chorus. (And I did.)

Waite left the stage, and a slew of Beatles songs played over the loudspeaker. And just as the whole audience sang along to “It Won’t Be Long,” the lights dimmed and Air Supply took the stage and opened with “Even The Nights Are Better.”

A few quick thoughts ran through my head. The first one – which I’m sure is the same one that went through my mother’s head – was “Dear God, these guys are old!” Graham Russell looks pretty good, actually – he’s aged well.

Except for the fact that when he plays and sings together, he furrows his brow and kind of looks like he’s only moments away from a heart attack.

Russell Hitchcock…well, let’s just say that the years have not been kind to Russell Hitchcock. He kind of resembles an upside-down pear. He wears really tight boots and pants but has a bit of a gut on him, and he does this awkward skip-shuffle combo on the stage that does not befit a rock star. And I remember this guy with the huge, black ‘fro – these days, the fro is gone, and replaced with snow-white hair.

My snarky thoughts didn’t last terribly long, though, because I’ll tell you this: the man’s still got it. His pipes are powerful; the majority of the songs in the Air Supply canon (I just said “Air Supply canon”) remained in their original keys, and there wasn’t a note he didn’t nail. A few songs were lowered, and while that usually bugs the crap out of me, I forgave it instantly. After all, Air Supply recorded in ridiculous keys. I can’t hit the majority of those notes to save my life. Hitchcock is, what, 80 75 62 58 years old, and his voice is in tip-top shape.

The other thing that struck me is that he is ever the audience pleaser. Whether he’s singing or not, he spends the majority of his time connecting with the crowd: he waves to them, makes silly faces, and imitates whatever they’re doing with their arms. Occasionally, he touches his heart and points to the audience – a cheesy “I love ya, babe” – kind of move – and it suddenly doesn’t matter that he looks a touch like Grimace standing on his head. The audience loves him throughout. He’s a rock star of the Mellowest Order.

There weren’t many people on stage: Russell, Graham, a keyboardist, drummer and bassist. The band was, no doubt, incorporating backing tracks. There were numerous times I heard vocals, guitar and keyboard parts that were not coming from the group. I didn’t notice too much about the keyboardist or drummer, but I was absolutely fixated on the bassist. Why? Because he was fricking metal.

His name is Jonni Lightfoot and he’s quite the accomplished musician. But this doesn’t change the fact that he’s 34 years old – the youngest member of the band and, I might add, quite possibly younger than Graham Russell’s pubes. (I went there.)

Anyway, now that the audience realized they could spend the majority of their time successfully getting the attention of the guys in the band, they did so – and Jonni ate it up. Nothing is better than watching a musician make devil-horns at the crowd and frantically scan for ladies under the age of 40 (which, surprisingly, wasn’t difficult – there were tons of women there in their twenties). Oh wait, one thing is better: a musician who makes rocking-out faces during “Lost In Love.”

Air Supply played all the hits. The only one they missed was “Sweet Dreams.” They played a few new tunes, which weren’t half bad. Here’s “A Little Bit Of Everything.” I didn’t take this footage, and you certainly don’t have to watch the whole thing, but you’ll see the Russell Hitchcock skip-hop and the way he interacts with the audience. Also, occasionally the two meet up center stage and sing their songs to each other – which, I should mention, is really freaking awkward.


At this point, I need to share a story with you. So at that concert back in 1985, Russell Hitchcock left the stage to make direct contact with the audience. It was during “The One That You Love.” He seemed to walk directly to our section, hugging and kissing audience members while singing the song. He made his way up our aisle, shook a few hands, and embraced the woman in the row in front of me. Excitedly, I threw out my hand to him, in the hopes that he’d acknowledge me (my first brush with fame!). However, he turned back after embracing that woman, and my handshake was rejected.

I was eight. I was crushed. I spent much of the remainder of the evening sulking at being (hopefully unintentionally) rebuffed by Russell Hitchcock. (For the last time – no, I’m not gay.)

Fast forward to the here and now. The band starts playing “The One That You Love.” Hitchcock has three our four audience sections to choose from if he wants to interact with fans, but for whatever reason, chooses ours. He walks off the stage and heads for the aisle.

He comes up to my row. Smooches the woman in the aisle seat and high-fives her boyfriend, who’s more interested in his iPhone than the show. I’m sitting next to this dude.

I throw my hand out to reach him. Suddenly, I’m eight years old again. The hope is in my eyes, and all I want, more than anything, is to get that handshake. That recognition I missed last time around.

He shakes my hand.

I turn to my mother and scream, “FULL CIRCLE!”

Hitchcock continues going up the aisle, and the audience goes insane. It’s clear now that he’ll hug and kiss anybody who gets near him. Audience members from other sections scramble to get close. Hitchcock doesn’t just travel the aisle – he starts walking through rows, like he’s Roberto Benigni at the Oscars. It’s pandemonium. On the other side, the other Russell is playing guitar in the audience, but I don’t think anybody is giving a damn.

Finally he makes his way back down the same aisle.

“Mom, you gotta go get Russell Hitchcock.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Mom, you gotta do it!”
“No, no.”
“Jason! Stop! I don’t want to!”
“For Christ’s sake. Excuse me, can my mom please get through? She absolutely has to hug Russell Hitchcock.”

I literally shove my mother past the other two people, into the aisle. I get the feeling she doesn’t want to look silly in front of me, which is kind of absurd when you think about the fact that I’ve sung every single Air Supply lyric for the past 35 minutes. She stands in the aisle and waits expectantly.

Hitchcock embraces her, gives her a kiss, whispers “gotta go” and heads back to the stage. My mom makes her way back to her seat, completely giddy. Unfortunately, the pic I took came out terribly blurry, but I know it’s him and I know it’s my mom, which is enough.

You know what I love about this picture? He’s kissing my mom and has his hand on another girl’s arm. This guy is my HERO.

The rest of the concert was great – and one of the first concerts I’ve been to in a long while where I thought, “that’s it?” These guys played a very short concert. Total time, including encore, was about 70 minutes. That’s a really short show. Granted, they played just about everything I wanted to hear (with the exception of “Love Is All”), so I really don’t have any complaints.

I know what you may be thinking: Jason, you’re glorifying the exact same crap you make fun of every week. You’re not wrong. But just as you have a soft spot for those songs you heard in the car with your parents as you drove down the highway 30 years ago, I have a soft spot for the music that filled my childhood. What can I tell you. If you too have a soft spot for these songs, go see Air Supply. You won’t be disappointed. If these guys can sell out three nights at BB King’s, clearly they’re doing something right.

It wouldn’t be a Mellow Gold post without some downloads, so here are a few tracks from The Singer And The Song.

Air Supply – Lost In Love (Unplugged) (download)

Air Supply – All Out Of Love (Unplugged) (download)

And here’s one more for you, “Yours Truly.” I had to include it: the first line is “Sometimes when I look at you, I wonder why you’re here with me.” What’s more mellow than that?

Air Supply – Yours Truly (Unplugged) (download)

(For fun, check out some of the other track titles and lyrics from the album Yours Truly. Maybe one day we’ll talk about “Body Glove,” with lyrics like “You and me, we’ve got enough/we live inside the body glove/You and me, we live for love/Deep inside the body glove.”)

And, just for fun, here’s that wonderful Time-Life Soft Rock infomercial you keep seeing on TV, hosted by the duo. (At least three of you have e-mailed me, in the middle of the night, to tell me about it.) Scary how many of these we’ve covered!


Come on back next week for another Adventure Through The Mines Of Mellow Gold!

  • David

    This post really made me smile. You and your mom are lucky to have each other.

    But you knew that.

  • Jude

    love that one photo… BASS FACE!!
    love the Time-Life infomercial for two things: first, that gaudy looking lemonade pitcher which just screams out "old folks". Secondly, Angela, and how really inconsequential she is to the whole production. Hilarious.

  • I would have paid just to see them do Jim Steinman’s "Making Love Out of Nothing At All" anytime!

  • "The world is just potato chips/joined together at the female hips." Ah, AllMusicGuide, the money you save me. It says here that the Russells met in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Somehow, if only it had been Godspell, I feel that story would be perfect.
    I’m betting next time I’m in Vegas my odds of getting Air Supply tickets are pretty good.
    "Lost in Love" in my book has uncommonly savvy lyrics that make it the Air Supply song for which one need feel least ashamed of harboring a soft spot.

  • Bedheaded

    Note that it’s a pitcher of blue lemonade…sweet and blue?  Sounds like mellow gold to me.

  • George

    Great review! Really made me laugh out loud. I wonder what John Waite thinks of opening for these guys. He’s had quite a curious career. With his solo stuff, Babys stuff and Bad English stuff he’s toured with quite the array of bands. I believe Bad English once came to my town opening for Whitesnake. That’s quite a leap from Air Supply. I believe John & the Bad English boys went bowling after the show at our local bowling alley. I live in MN now, but I have fond memories of Westbury from when I was a young lad growing up in LI. I believe my first-ever concert there was Sha Na Na with Jay Leno opening. Looks like there’s quite a bit of ‘mellow gold’ coming through there this summer (Natalie Cole, Boz Scaggs, Eddie Money, Donny Osmond, Bolton, Michael McDonald).

  • andy

    Laugh out loud! Guilty secrets (I am older than you I think)! I never got my Mum to a gig and never will – a good job too – shes 71 this year. You are a lucky man. I love the photos. A man of a certian age and a vest should never meet. I lost that thing in my 20s. And as for the bass player – I thought my secrets are guilty!

  • Dw Dunphy

    This was a fun little write-up. Sadly, Hitchcock looks an awful lot like Bea Arthur with a thyroid condition, but it’s good that they a) still perform and b) are still pretty good at it.

  • A couple of things on the You Tube clip of the concert:

    1. Russell Hitchcock’s “skip-shuffle” is actually his version of the walk the Pink Panther does in the cartoon — only it’s a fat human version.

    2. During the third chorus, Graham Russell must not be aware he has one of those “Britney Spears/Christian motivational speaker” mics because he’s going in for the single mic duet during the vocal punches.

    One other thing…Do you think these guys cover G-n-R songs during the soundcheck with “Metal Guy” on the bass?

  • Shelley

    We must be of an age, Air Supply was my first concert too, when I was 9. I had such a crush on Russell Hitchcock with his big hair and big voice and those tight red pants he used to wear. Umm, do you remember the tight red pants too, Jason?

  • I do not expect you or anybody else to believe me, but no, I don’t remember the tight red pants.  I swear.

    Ted, I can’t believe you made it through the entire clip!

  • Always a pleasure to read your blog when you cut back on the snark a bit and reveal your true colors, Jason. I taped "Just As I Am" from radio in the mid 80s, and I played it to pieces – I always loved those big piano-centric ballads – still do, I guess. I laughed out loud when I read about the cd in the glove compartment – I’ve been doing the same thing to my parents for years. And btw, thanks for link the link last week – I’ve been on vacation and I just noticed. Thanks to you, it’s now my biggest hit!

  • TJ

    Air Supply Greatest Hits was one of my first cassettes – I received it with a walkman for Christmas about ’85.  I constantly embarrass my wife with my ability to sing every lyric to every one of their hits.  I like to just bust out "All Out of Love" for no good reason other than to irritate her.

  • You and I should totally go on a double-date.

  • Disa

    I am still laughing , I can just pictured in my mind.  Say hello to everybody. Dis. 

  • Dw Dunphy

    Even the nights are better, although I’m a heavy sweater, this silk might as well be leather the way I’ve soaked through!

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  • Dartannon

    Just saw Air Supply in Wendover Nevada…. June 23… looked to be much the same concert you saw….
    I was just wondering… do you or anyone out there know…
    Are either Russell or Grahm gay?
    Were they a couple?

  • I was about to ask the same thing, Dartannon. (Are you a Musketeer?) Is that just a rumor that’s taken on a life of its own? Because I swear I heard that the Russells were lovers long before that “SNL” skit in which Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan played Air Supply and made out with each other. Please, someone clear this up, because if I’m wrong then I need to tell my parents I’ve misled them.

    There isn’t a single Air Supply song that I like (I recently said that about Duran Duran as well before discovering a song of theirs from ’86 called “Skin Trade”), but I have no doubt they put on a great concert for the people who do love their hits. They’ve been performing for over 30 years — how could they not be good at what they do? But they should get Jonni Lightfoot to cut it out with the devil horns. Fuck your ironic hand gestures, sir! You took this gig because you needed the money and you ARE getting the money thanks to Air Supply still being popular, so be a professional and keep your sarcastic metal impulses in check!

    “Hitchcock looks an awful lot like Bea Arthur with a thyroid condition” — Dw, you did done it again!

    Jason, I’m glad you came full circle. I can imagine how satisfying that must feel, as silly as it sounds.

  • To me it sounds like Hitchcock is definitely having trouble hitting the high notes in the Time-Life infomercial. Was Angela screwing with his mojo during the shoot?

  • LOVED your review!  It was great reading it and I enjoyed that it had personal meaning for you.  Ha ha, maybe you can send me your ‘Air Supply Story’ for my Air Supply Blog!!! http://www.AirSupplyBlog.com

    We sat in the same section and Russell did spend a lot of time with the audience there.  Good for you for pushing your mom to him!

    Thanks for the great write up on these guys. 

    Mike Zerbe, drummer, is awesome.

    Jed Moss, pianist/keyboardist, is a classically trained pianist and we only get to see a small piece of that during the intro to Faith In Love when he gives us a little something extra (check out the clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rL6pIi70N0).
    Jonni Lightfoot DOES rock!  You should have seen him in the Mohegan Sun arena on Sunday night where he played to about 6,000 fans.  He was incredible and had all the moves of a rock star! What you saw in Westbury can’t even compare to the energy he gave out on Sunday!

    Thanks for sharing your experience and for telling people that Air Supply is still out there and is surprisingly awesome if you haven’t seen them lately!

  • Mike

    Neither Russell nor Graham are gay. Graham has been happily married for many years now to the beautiful Jodi Russell. Russell is also happily married to a woman named Laurie. This is his fourth marriage but so far so good. Air Supply really always puts on a great show ! I took a few friends with me (who’d never seen them ) to the last one back in Oct and they were all pleasantly surprised by how much they liked it and how energetic the show was. I think they figured it would all just be sleepy ballads but the show is actually very upbeat and fun.

  • Thanks for the clarification, Mike.

  • Mom

    That’s my boy.We had a blast, and I can’t wait until they play at Northfork again next year for the 27th consecutive year. Love you jay.Mom

  • KRL

    Always love
    Grham Russell and then Russell Hitchcok..I also remember the commercial they did for WPIX radio in NYC…Your Ex want you back..
    Can not say I was a fan as I was 14-17 during their run. But as a musician and a love for song, I could always appreciate the bridge in "Lost in Love:,,,,…You know you cant fool meeee…Great chord changes

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  • Dan

    Awesome review.  I just caught "The Supply" at the Michigan State Fair.  It was a free show and the crowd was pretty small at first and you could kind of see the dissapointment in Russel Hitchcock’s little wrinkled turtle face.  But then he and the tall guy proceeded light rock the shit out of the place.  Everything was perfect, down to the cheesy walk-through-the-crowd-hugging-people shtick.  It totally won me and my wife over and by the "All Out Of Love" encore, I was standing on my seat, shouting along.  I can think of no better way to relive everything cheesy and great about the ’80s in 70 sweet minutes.  Props to the band for only playing the hits and letting me out in time to get to sleep early — an appropriate end to a most mellow evening. 

  • Comment of the week right here!

  • dolly

    Mike – your post of July 31 says Russell Hitchcock is happily married to wife #4 – hope this is true, however I ‘ve seen A/S 8 times since Jan and he hasn’t worn a wedding ring this year at all (note the left hand in the picture kissing Jason’s mom. Have you spoken with him since Oct ’06 to verify this information? Just curious. You are right – they always put on a great show.
    Jason – loved your review – absolutely wonderful!! Laughed out loud – light-hearted fun and yet complimentary for all the right reasons!! You are great!!!

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  • Urgent message for Graham and Jody Russel:

    Documentary film:

    I have the final piece of the puzzle in Graham Phillips Grail quest…

    The Freemasons also hold this secret… (see link below) the stars on the horizon are the Pleiades star cluster… follow the two stars that point to the horizon… (see my website why) follow the leg shape (looks similar to Big Dipper) pointing to the horizon.

    It falls almost perfect East… the place of the oldest round temple in England… like the temple chapel in London (in the DaVinci Code)…. guess what its outside once looked like?

    I have written three times to Graham Philips asking him to look and he ignores my emails.

    Figured you would be more interested in looking yourself or passing on the info because my emails are being intercepted since it is freemason prop.

    see the freemason star chart on my website here…

    The Grail has a lot to do with these stars… see my site whay and click grail leads and Christ Chi-Rho insignia of the sacred cross.

    It also involves the human form with outstretched arms… click human blueprint code. If no news i will run the story myself… but i would prefer you guys complete your quest. Look forward to hearing from you.

    Wayne Herschel

  • nyogie

    It’s quite heart warming to know that an admitted critic of one of my most favorite duo in the world writes something like this. Indeed, AS though may not be really popular in the US, but here in the Philippines and in Asia, AS is an immortal icon engrave not only in the hearts of its fan but even soul. I remember, just like any other fan out there, I was hooked into their music when I was not yet even reading my ABC ;) I consider their music my personal friend. From good times to the worst time in my life, their music is there to comfort me— and not only me but my family as well. Today, when I am listening to their music, specially those of the past, I can’t help myself but to transcend into that specially place I call my childhood. And if ever Russel and Graham would be reading this, there is just one thing id like you guys to know… “thank you for the music. May God bless you always. Hope to see you also performing live…”

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  • I remember this show…I love playing Westbury and i love playing in the round. OK i feel i need to talk about “devil horns” that’s not something i always and one comment was left that i need to cut it out and keep my metal in check..LOL Here’s the deal, there is a Handicapped guy named Brian who is a big Air Supply fan and he always sits close to the stage and on my side. We have a thing where we make the rock on sign to each other and he makes “devil horns” to me so i play back with him. He is a great kid and i have spent some time talking to him after shows. However that “Metal face” photo is pretty funny!!


  • Jonni, I was actually sitting behind that kid and although I didn’t know you knew him, I appreciated the fact that you connected with him throughout the show. Keep on making devil horns…you’ve earned ’em!

  • enradcy

    Great review…LoL:))..
    I love the Air Supply.

  • grezia

    i am in love with RUSSELL HITCHCOCK!!!!
    IF ONLY i could take him home when he was here last tym in the Philippines…

  • grezia

    they had a great concert here in the Philippines, at the Araneta Coliseum. Russell H covered my eyes with his hand!!! and I ws able to touch his hair.. I felt so starstruck that tym, i don’t know if i would just take pictures of him or just stare at him…he’s ever so gorgeous..Later that night, I wished I had greeted him, t’was his birthday!

  • grezia

    hi, JONNI LIGHTFOOT. please extend my greetings to RUSSELL. MISS HIM SO MUCH!!

  • Robb McCaffree

    Ha! This made me laugh…a LOT. There’s an upcoming (wait for it……….) Air Supply/Christopher Cross concert in my area and I’m going. And because of your review, I think I may have to take my mom…

  • “For Christ’s sake. Excuse me, can my mom please get through? She absolutely has to hug Russell Hitchcock.”

    Haha I love this one! ;)
    I was searching for an answer whether they are gay actually and got your link :)

    Rumors has been spread around :)

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  • hi air supply you are the best band your are a very strong band and i love your song and my all classmate he say air supply god bless and I LOVE YOU TAKE CARE.

  • hichcockyou are a legendary voice of all time

  • I don’t know what dawned at me but I cried upon reading this:

    “I throw my hand out to reach him. Suddenly, I’m eight years old again. The hope is in my eyes, and all I want, more than anything, is to get that handshake. That recognition I missed last time around.

    He shakes my hand.”

    I am listening to their songs right now and just decided to search updates about Air Supply when I found your post.

    Like you, I’m also moved by most of their songs, though I’m just in twenties.

  • Mdirubio

    Air Supply will be playing a special Northern California show In Saratoga at the Villa Montalvo Arts Center on August 27, 2011 at 8:00 pm.  This is a world class venue with many dining options and a body level stage with only 1400 tickets available. http://www.montalvoarts.org for tickets.

  • Jacinta C

    love you air supply, have cryed and laughed to your music over the last 30 yrs and still love every song, will love your music forever, god bless you both xx.

  • Your review reveals more about YOU than the performance! 

    Describing someone as an “upside-down pear,” looking like “…Grimace standing on his head,” stating that “…the years haven’t been kind…” to someone because they fail to live up to your juvenile ideal, and including your moronic opinion that the performer “…furrows his brow and kind of looks like he’s only moments away from a heart attack…” in a review shows that you are a petty, obnoxious little snot of the first order. 

    And your reason for “loving” the photo simply because the man is touching a girl’s arm while kissing your mother (the girl WAS directly in front of him, and he couldn’t have reached your mother without touching her) is WARPED. 

    Thoughtlessly arriving at the concert late, being dissatisfied by your seats, but having your disappointment vanish because the performer had a “…Lyle-Lovett-In-Training pompadour” is beyond dumb. 

    In no way do I believe that your ear can discern that the keys in which the songs were performed were the same as in past performances. Changes in keys of 1/2 step to a whole step would be difficult to recognize even for the performers, so to believe that a brainless twit who celebrates his foolishness in a review such as you’ve written can recognize such changes is damn near impossible. 

    I was happy the two gentlemen of which you’ve written are still ALIVE and WELL, and most of all, still PERFORMING! If you get older and mature as well, perhaps you’ll understand, and maybe you’ll be able to appreciate changes in people’s appearances through the years rather than holding them up to standards over which they have no control. 

    In the meantime, it would be nice of you made an effort to grow up. You’re no longer an eight year-old friendless little snot-nose — so it would be nice if you attempted to morph into a thoughtful adult.