The First Day of Mellowmas: Pendergrass!

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Day one, everybody! Are you ready? (You’re definitely not ready. Too bad!)

Teddy Pendergrass: Happy Kwanzaa (download or stream below)
from This Christmas (I’d Rather Have Love) Amazon

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Jason: Mellowmas hits the Congo?

Jeff: Aww yeah!

Jason: I don’t mean that as a racist. It sounds like “Congo” by Genesis.

Jeff: For the record, I would like to say that I said “aww yeah” before Teddy, and without knowing that he would, in fact, say “aww yeah.”

Jason: Whoa! We want the funk! Gotta have that funk! Happy Kwanzaa, Jeff.

Jeff: And a very Happy Kwanzaa to you, Jason. When is Kwanzaa, anyway?

Jason: Kwanzaa? You’re asking a Jew?

Did he just whisper “oh shit?” I think I heard that incorrectly. I can’t hear anything over this bassline.

Jeff: You never know with Teddy. I love the backing vocals.

Jason: This song is actually kind of awesome. Together, there is so much we can do,

Jeff: All right! It’s a celebration!

Jason: At one point, I knew what Kwanzaa was about. I learned about it last year. But I forgot. Along with Hanukkah.

Jeff: If Teddy’s singing about it, it must be about sex.

Jason: Come join the party! I think he just started speaking part of “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie. Happy Kwanzaa, everybody!

Jeff: “It’s a celebration that will last throughout the year” — that’s got to be, right off the bat, the most awkward line we’re going to hear all Mellowmas. I mean, Mellowzaa.

Jason: You know, if people didn’t know us better, they’d think we’re jerks. But we’re this disrespectful to everyone.

Jeff: …Except Michael McDonald.

Jason: Well, of course not McD. Teddy is feelin’ this one.

Jeff: Oh, shit! A rap!

Jason: !!

Jeff: I give hugs to my moms!

Jason: Who is this? Bell? Biv? The other guy?

Jeff: I think it’s Teddy’s left nut! MC Scrote! He had a hit in 1990, I think.

Jason: Creativity! Unity! Something unintelligible! Teddy’s nut sounds great. I’ve been waiting for his nut to break out and do a solo record, actually.

Jeff: I love this song.

Jason: Yeah, this is actually pretty awesome.

Jeff: Modulaaaaaaaation!

Jason: Key change, motherfuckers!

Jeff: Teddy is getting the fuck down.

Jason: I’m doing my best white man’s groove right now. Key change 2: Electric Boogaloo!

Jeff: Wait — a fade-out?

Jason: BOOO for the fade-out!

Jeff: Bullshit! Boo! An excellent start.

Jason: But still, if you look at this song as a whole, it’s like 95% awesome. I can deal with the fadeout knowing that my booty had a good shake for the other five minutes.

Jeff: An excellent start. See? It’s like Mellowmas never ended. It can only go downhill from here.

Jason: Yeah, I think we’re screwed. We’ve set the Mellowmas bar really high, now.

Jeff: Just wait until Jim Nabors shows up.

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  • EightE1

    A funky-ass bass, TWO key changes, and a wiggedy-wicked rap from MC Scrote? Haven’t even put up my tree yet, and already I’m full of Mellowmas spirit.

    Welcome back from cryogenic slumber, Jefito.

    Rob
    EightE1

    PS: Is that Kenny-Fucking-Rogers under Jason’s arm? This is going to be good …

  • http://www.drcastrato.blogspot.com matt

    merry mellowmas to you both. this is very exciting. will this year’s entire mellowmas catalog be offered up as a single download at the end, as sort of a digital stocking stuffer?

  • http://www.wingsforwheels.net Dave Lifton

    I got about 1:42 into it before I couldn’t take any more.

  • http://frontparlourblog.blogspot.com harmolodic

    I am so tempted to play this at the office holiday party just to see people’s reactions…

  • http://mostlymodernmusic.blogspot.com Beau

    Very rare to hear a song that implores you to “recite a principle and say what it means to you.”

  • http://schiing.terjefjelde.com/ Terje

    It’s funny, somehow the 5% of this song that’s not awesome completely dominates it.

  • Dw. Dunphy

    Y’know, there’s only one part of this song I really don’t like: the backup singers. They should probably be as smooth and soulful as Teddy, but instead they pronounce “Kwanzaa” like Esther from LawnGuyland would pronounce “Kwanzaa”. Oy vey iz mir!

  • Dw. Dunphy

    Oh, and if anyone feels gypped that your first Mellowmas entry was, well, less scarring than it oughta be, let them feast their eyes upon what follows yon link: http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/a9/b0/b442828fd7a0e71e38b01110.L.jpg

  • Ray

    Wow! 25 days of Mellowmas! It’s like a virtual Mellow Advent Calendar… you are to be congratulated! : )

  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com Robert

    This song was much better than it had any right to be. I could’ve done without the rap, but it was the ’90s and those R&B mid-song raps had almost reached their expiration date, so I can’t blame Teddy for cramming one into his holiday song before the clock struck midnight.

    I watched a “Soul Train” rerun from 1978 on Saturday afternoon and heard TP’s “Only You” for the first time; it was played during the “Soul Train Line” segment. Did Gamble & Huff EVER steer us wrong in the ’70s? That Philly Soul sound just can’t be beat. I think I need to buy a “greatest hits” album of Teddy’s now, since I already like “Love TKO,” “The More I Get, the More I Want,” and “When Somebody Loves You Back.”

  • Brian

    Oh yes, let’s teach dem well! Let us teach dem grammar, spelling and pidgin English!

  • http://mulberrypanda96.blogspot.com Robert

    Dreaming of an ultra-white Christmas once again, huh, Brian?

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