The Seventh Day of Mellowmas: Carrack Carols!

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Something surprising happens today, on Day Seven of Mellowmas: we actually wind up with a song that’s…not so bad! Will you feel the same? Listen and read on, suckas!

Paul Carrack – Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (download or stream below)
From A Soulful Christmas Amazon iTunes

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Jason: Ooh, listen to that classic sound. That actually is quite pretty.

Jeff: How loooooooooooong…has this reindeer been Rudolphin’ on… I’m falling asleep.

Jason: This doesn’t even sound like Paul Carrack to me. I hope the whole song isn’t this slow.

A few seconds pass.

Jason: OOOOH YEAH! Samba, bitches! Or whatever style this is.

Jeff: Ha ha ha! I think Casio calls it “drunk.”

Jason: Okay, well, give him credit for at least shaking it up a little. HORNS!!!

Jeff: Horn blast!

Jason: Those things damn near knocked me out of my chair!

Jeff: I think I can hear him snapping his fingers.

Jason: Jeff? I like this.

Jeff: Oh, wow.

Jason: I actually like this.

Jeff: This is, like, an arrangement.

Jason: I’m not crazy about the samba beat, but the big band sound is working for me.

Jeff: Big finish!

Jason: I like this a lot.

Jeff: Carrack just did the splits!

Jason: Ha!

Jeff: Yelled something unintelligible to the band!

Jason: Carrack quickly left the studio in the middle to write a song for Timothy B. Schmit!

Jeff: Ha! I think this may have actually been recorded live.

Jason: Wait, he just said “Santa came to stay,” not “say.” KEY CHANGE! I LOVE key changes. This song rocks.

Jeff: Yeah, I can’t argue with this.

Jason: It’s actually recorded really well, too. Like, great production.

Jeff: I bow down to Paul Carrack. (applause)

Jason: “History, man!”

Jeff: Paul Carrack saved Mellowmas.

Jason: “Mmmm….Rudolph.”

Jeff: That was great.

Jason: Great ending! You liked it too?

Jeff: Who wouldn’t like that?

Jason: I don’t get it. This isn’t the Paul Carrack I know. For starters, he looks like Mandy Patinkin on the cover.

Jeff: Hey, I’m just as pleasantly surprised as you. I wonder if Patinkin has released a holiday album.

Jason: Oh, I’m sure he has. Not only that, I’m sure I’ve bought it for my mother.

Jeff: Have you heard him sing? He sounds like Jim Nabors’ aunt.

Jason: How about that? He hasn’t. I heard Patinkin on the radio today singing a Sondheim tune. I was really excited to hear it, and then I turned it off instantly.

Jeff: I say we start a letter campaign asking for “A Very Mandy Hanukkah.”

Jason: Happy Patinkinmas! Hey, have you heard the rest of this Carrack album?

Jeff: I haven’t, but now I really want to.

Jason: Yeah. I agree. Wow. I can’t believe that we’re actually not ripping a Mellowmas artist apart. I kind of blame this on you. You picked this one.

Jeff: It seemed perfectly bad. Paul Carrack…Rudolph…what could go right?

Jason: I’m going to have to listen to the rest of this album. We’ve failed, Jeff. We’ve failed ourselves and our readers. I mean, reader. I just heard him leave. He took a ginger snap, some egg nog, gave us the finger and ran out.

Jeff: No, no, we’re just softening them up for the next terrible track. The death blow is so much more painful when you aren’t expecting it.

Jason: Let’s give ‘em something really bad tomorrow! Like….FOGELMAS!

Jeff: (evil cackle)

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  • http://mostlymodernmusic.blogspot.com Beau

    The best part about this one is that I can’t hear him running. I can’t hear him calling me.

  • http://www.danray.net Dan

    Gents, I agree: this track did not suck.

  • http://www.wingsforwheels.net Dave Lifton

    How can the guy who sang on The Living Years not make a crappy Christmas song? You would have thought he would have given that choir so much more work.

  • Curt

    Guys: This song would have had a better chance to blow chunks if you had started Mellowmas with it. As it is, Naborbellamyclifflove has lowered the bar so much that something like this barely makes a ripple on the suckometer!

  • http://schiing.terjefjelde.com/ Terje

    No profanities?? Not even when you’re discussing Mandy Patinkin.

  • heather

    Well, no. 2 son didn’t like it. He came running into the computer room demanding I turn it off. And then when I started dancing with him (can’t resist a samba beat ;) he started laughing and saying “stop dancing”. Now he’s run off and closed the door behind him.

    Does my 2 year old have more taste than his uncle? I guess he’d say “YES!”

  • http://jasonhare.com Jason

    Wow. And that was the good track! Maybe each day, you could play the featured song for him and we could get his opinion?

  • http://schiing.terjefjelde.com/ Terje

    I’m sad to say that my 2 year old started dancing around and laughing when I played the hippo song.

  • Dw. Dunphy

    Thank you, Jason & Jeff. You saved my sanity for one day of Mellomas. I assume this happened by accident though.

  • Eric Lund

    It seemed perfectly bad. Paul Carrack…Rudolph…what could go right?

    Of all the Christmas songs I love to hate, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is the one I love to hate the most. Back when I was in high school I was in the marching band, and we had to play a particularly atrocious arrangement of this song, repeatedly, as an alleged benefit for kids in a hospital. That’s what pushed me from “yeah, whatever” to “God, I hate this song.”

    In the hands of most artists, this song blows. Gene Autry (who did the original recording) was a good enough performer to get away with it. Willie Nelson did a not-awful cover of this song. I don’t know if Bruce Springsteen ever did this song (I have heard his live version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”), but he could probably get away with it.

    Paul Carrack is definitely not in the same league as the three I’ve just mentioned. Amazingly, he pulled it off, with the help of a brilliantly done big band arrangement. Whoever did the arrangement earned every penny he was paid, and then some.

  • Dw. Dunphy

    As far as Christmas songs that cannot be redeemed by anyone, I’m casting my lot with “Sleigh Ride”. Comfy, cozy, my hair bum.

  • Old Davy

    Jason and Jeff, our Mellowmas leaders
    You’ve only offered crap to all your blog readers
    From Hippos and Pendergrass to a song by Pyle
    The tracks have all been disgusting and vile

    But lo and behold, what is this that I hear?
    Some soulful samba to make listeners cheer
    It took you a week, but day seven’s track
    Is a not-half-bad song from ex-Ace man Carrack

    After six days of crud I almost began weeping
    But now you give us a song that’s worth keeping
    Up until now, Mellowmas was sure stinkin’
    Just please please please, NO Mandy Patinkin

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