Comments on: The Eleventh Day of Mellowmas: Boltonmas! http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/ The Music That Taste Forgot Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:58:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: The Sixth Day of Mellowmas: Boltonmas! | Popdose http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-46667 The Sixth Day of Mellowmas: Boltonmas! | Popdose Sat, 06 Dec 2008 12:43:24 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-46667 [...] No, we didn’t do this one. Last year he was yelling at us. Now he’s just kind of whimpering [...] […] No, we didn’t do this one. Last year he was yelling at us. Now he’s just kind of whimpering […]

]]> By: jim http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27863 jim Mon, 24 Dec 2007 18:05:12 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27863 i love this song and the overt cheese contained within...top notch i love this song and the overt cheese contained within…top notch

]]> By: Eric Lund http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27298 Eric Lund Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:07:22 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27298 I have to agree with Ray: this one sets the new standard for Godawful Christmas tunes. The arrangement is completely inappropriate, and Bolton is just the singer to over-cheese it. Anyone who gets this album as a gift has earned the right to put coal in the giver's stocking for life. I have to agree with Ray: this one sets the new standard for Godawful Christmas tunes. The arrangement is completely inappropriate, and Bolton is just the singer to over-cheese it. Anyone who gets this album as a gift has earned the right to put coal in the giver’s stocking for life.

]]> By: Ray http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27281 Ray Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:06:51 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27281 Congrats Jason and Jeff... you've discovered the musical equivalent of the Chia-Pet! Ch-ch-ch-chia! Anyway look on the bright side... it could have been Bolton croaking out "Jeremiah was a bullfrog..." Congrats Jason and Jeff… you’ve discovered the musical equivalent of the Chia-Pet! Ch-ch-ch-chia!

Anyway look on the bright side… it could have been Bolton croaking out “Jeremiah was a bullfrog…”

]]> By: Richard Brandt http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27182 Richard Brandt Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:55:25 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27182 Concord Jazz, why hast thou forsaken me? Concord Jazz, why hast thou forsaken me?

]]> By: Dave Lifton http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27103 Dave Lifton Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:56:17 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27103 “My band has something they want to express to you.” Translation: I could really use a blowjob right about now. “My band has something they want to express to you.”

Translation: I could really use a blowjob right about now.

]]> By: EightE1 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27059 EightE1 Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:53:29 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27059 At the height of Bolton’s popularity (dare I say, Boltonmania?), I actually saw him perform at what was then the Cap Center, outside of D.C. I was there at the behest of the woman I was dating at the time (wait – I think I married her. Yeah, I definitely married her), and we sat up in the nosebleed seats, stage left – pretty far from having to bear the full brunt of the amplification, yet I could hear him louder than both the band and the screaming housewives in the floor seats. Anyway, about midway through the show, Mr. Mullet (for he still had that nature-defying mullet back then) says, “My band has something they want to express to you,” and leaves the stage. For the next ten minutes or so, the crowd is treated the synthesized farts and WEE-twiddle-twiddle of his equally mulletted guitar player and the rest of his roughly 400-piece band. I was coming back from the beer stand when the spotlight hit the middle of the floor seats, down in the crowd, and there stood Bolton, beginning his desecration of “Georgia on My Mind.” And. The. Crowd. Went. Fucking. Nuts. NUTS. It looked like a sea of the floor seat housewives were going to converge on his Boltonness and tear him limb from limb. Real Christians-versus-the-lions shit. Sadly – SO sadly – he was surrounded by a circle of beefy security guards (all wearing ear protection, naturally), who beat back the rushing crowd with billy clubs and cattle prods. And he walked to the stage, so smug, so obnoxiously sincere, so BOLTONY, caterwauling the entire way. I think of that night when I hear him on the radio, or on my favorite blog – usually he’s butchering someone else’s material, as he was back then. And I want to claw my eardrums out of my head all over again. Rob EightE1 At the height of Bolton’s popularity (dare I say, Boltonmania?), I actually saw him perform at what was then the Cap Center, outside of D.C. I was there at the behest of the woman I was dating at the time (wait – I think I married her. Yeah, I definitely married her), and we sat up in the nosebleed seats, stage left – pretty far from having to bear the full brunt of the amplification, yet I could hear him louder than both the band and the screaming housewives in the floor seats.

Anyway, about midway through the show, Mr. Mullet (for he still had that nature-defying mullet back then) says, “My band has something they want to express to you,” and leaves the stage. For the next ten minutes or so, the crowd is treated the synthesized farts and WEE-twiddle-twiddle of his equally mulletted guitar player and the rest of his roughly 400-piece band.

I was coming back from the beer stand when the spotlight hit the middle of the floor seats, down in the crowd, and there stood Bolton, beginning his desecration of “Georgia on My Mind.” And. The. Crowd. Went. Fucking. Nuts. NUTS. It looked like a sea of the floor seat housewives were going to converge on his Boltonness and tear him limb from limb. Real Christians-versus-the-lions shit. Sadly – SO sadly – he was surrounded by a circle of beefy security guards (all wearing ear protection, naturally), who beat back the rushing crowd with billy clubs and cattle prods. And he walked to the stage, so smug, so obnoxiously sincere, so BOLTONY, caterwauling the entire way.

I think of that night when I hear him on the radio, or on my favorite blog – usually he’s butchering someone else’s material, as he was back then. And I want to claw my eardrums out of my head all over again.

Rob
EightE1

]]> By: Dave Lifton http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27057 Dave Lifton Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:17:47 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27057 Hey, Bolton's version of Winter Wonderland is a free download at iTunes! http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreeiTunesDownloads/~3/198777583/music-michael-bolton-walkin-in-winter.html Hey, Bolton’s version of Winter Wonderland is a free download at iTunes!

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/FreeiTunesDownloads/~3/198777583/music-michael-bolton-walkin-in-winter.html

]]> By: Dw. Dunphy http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27039 Dw. Dunphy Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:01:54 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27039 Terror? I'll give you terror. This page loaded up really slow, so instead of Jason & Jeff's sadistic grinning glee, or that friendly banner inferring, "Dis mus' be de place!", all I got was Bolton. Just Bolton. For ten dead-eyed seconds. I thought I had clicked one of those "Really Scary!" banner ads by accident! Terror? I’ll give you terror. This page loaded up really slow, so instead of Jason & Jeff’s sadistic grinning glee, or that friendly banner inferring, “Dis mus’ be de place!”, all I got was Bolton.

Just Bolton. For ten dead-eyed seconds.

I thought I had clicked one of those “Really Scary!” banner ads by accident!

]]> By: Beau http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27036 Beau Tue, 11 Dec 2007 20:11:18 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/11/the-eleventh-day-of-mellowmas-boltonmas/#comment-27036 The only song on which I've ever liked Bolton was Saturday Night Live's appeal for free-range chicken. "Raise your hands, raise your voice, give the chickens another choice." The only song on which I’ve ever liked Bolton was Saturday Night Live’s appeal for free-range chicken.

“Raise your hands, raise your voice, give the chickens another choice.”

]]>