Comments on: The Fifteenth Day of Mellowmas: Spray-On Tans And Colossal Jugs http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/ The Music That Taste Forgot Sat, 20 Mar 2010 06:35:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: The Nineteenth Day of Mellowmas: Dollytoe's Revenge | Popdose http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-49835 The Nineteenth Day of Mellowmas: Dollytoe's Revenge | Popdose Sat, 19 Dec 2009 12:32:45 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-49835 [...] I only remember doing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” Did I block the other one out of my [...] […] I only remember doing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” Did I block the other one out of my […]

]]> By: The Fifteenth Day of Mellowmas: Dollytoe! | Popdose http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-46687 The Fifteenth Day of Mellowmas: Dollytoe! | Popdose Mon, 15 Dec 2008 12:31:15 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-46687 [...] Day of Mellowmas, we tortured ourselves by listening to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” So what better way to celebrate the anniversary of that horrible day by listening to another track [...] […] Day of Mellowmas, we tortured ourselves by listening to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sing “I Believe in Santa Claus.” So what better way to celebrate the anniversary of that horrible day by listening to another track […]

]]> By: Eric Lund http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27297 Eric Lund Sun, 16 Dec 2007 15:00:17 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27297 Curt: "And the children don’t look too happy either" The one on Kenny's lap is impatiently waiting for her turn to sing. Her face lights up once the children's choir part starts. The one on Dolly's lap would rather be somewhere else. So would I if I had to put up with Dolly's voice at close range. Curt: “And the children don’t look too happy either”

The one on Kenny’s lap is impatiently waiting for her turn to sing. Her face lights up once the children’s choir part starts.

The one on Dolly’s lap would rather be somewhere else. So would I if I had to put up with Dolly’s voice at close range.

]]> By: Ray http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27277 Ray Sun, 16 Dec 2007 09:43:59 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27277 So far I'm digging this Mellowmas... good work Jason and Jeff! BTW since I was a little late to the party I went back through the archives and checked out last year's "12 Days of Mellowmas" and got a perverse kick out of those too (well at least the 6 entries archived here anyway!). Anyway I was wondering if Jeff's contributions to last year's Mellowmas will be available for perusal once his new and improved blog is up and running... how about it? Cheers! So far I’m digging this Mellowmas… good work Jason and Jeff! BTW since I was a little late to the party I went back through the archives and checked out last year’s “12 Days of Mellowmas” and got a perverse kick out of those too (well at least the 6 entries archived here anyway!). Anyway I was wondering if Jeff’s contributions to last year’s Mellowmas will be available for perusal once his new and improved blog is up and running… how about it?

Cheers!

]]> By: Dw. Dunphy http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27249 Dw. Dunphy Sat, 15 Dec 2007 20:10:17 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27249 I believe I was really excited when I read: "Spray-On Tans And Colossal Jugs"! I believe I was just totally screwed (and not in any good way, either) I believe I was really excited when I read: “Spray-On Tans And Colossal Jugs”!

I believe I was just totally screwed (and not in any good way, either)

]]> By: Curt http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27241 Curt Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:20:22 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27241 As bad as this song is, the video is even worse. Why is Kenny wearing those white gloves? Was he afraid of actually touching the great unwashed on the set? And the children don't look too happy either - those presents Kenny and Dolly are passing out were probably 8-tracks or cassettes of this album. However, the video is almost redeemed by seeing Dolly's festive jugs...oh excuse me, hooters... prominently displayed in her low-cut Mrs. Claus outfit. I kept hoping for a wardrobe malfunction. As bad as this song is, the video is even worse. Why is Kenny wearing those white gloves? Was he afraid of actually touching the great unwashed on the set? And the children don’t look too happy either - those presents Kenny and Dolly are passing out were probably 8-tracks or cassettes of this album.

However, the video is almost redeemed by seeing Dolly’s festive jugs…oh excuse me, hooters… prominently displayed in her low-cut Mrs. Claus outfit. I kept hoping for a wardrobe malfunction.

]]> By: EightE1 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27240 EightE1 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:12:25 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27240 "I believe when someone hurts us, we should forgive and forget." - Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Jeff and Jason, I forgive you. But I shall never, ever forget. Rob EightE1 “I believe when someone hurts us, we should forgive and forget.”
- Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

Jeff and Jason, I forgive you. But I shall never, ever forget.

Rob
EightE1

]]> By: Beau http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27239 Beau Sat, 15 Dec 2007 16:05:41 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27239 I believe in coyotes and time as an abstract. To be fair to Dolly on the inclusionary theology front, she has recorded with Yusuf Islam. I'm guessing that wasn't him on the pedal steel here, though. I believe in coyotes and time as an abstract.

To be fair to Dolly on the inclusionary theology front, she has recorded with Yusuf Islam. I’m guessing that wasn’t him on the pedal steel here, though.

]]> By: Old Davy http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27237 Old Davy Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:54:41 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27237 I believe I'd like to take an AK-47 to everyone involved with the making of this holiday treat. I believe I’d like to take an AK-47 to everyone involved with the making of this holiday treat.

]]> By: Bob http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27234 Bob Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:31:05 +0000 http://jasonhare.com/2007/12/15/the-fifteenth-day-of-mellowmas-spray-on-tans-and-colossal-jugs/#comment-27234 That was truly, truly awful. You guys have reached a new low. If someone needs to say "I believe" repeatedly, this is how you do it. I give you, "What I Believe" by Steve Martin, Saturday Night Live, May 17, 1980: What I Believe. I believe in rainbows and puppy dogs and fairy tales. And I believe in the family - Mom and Dad and Grandma... and Uncle Tom, who waves his penis. And I believe 8 of the 10 Commandments. And I believe in going to church every Sunday, unless there's a game on. And I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome and natural things... that money can buy. And I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as "boobs", "jugs", "winnebagos" or "golden bozos"... and that you should only refer to them as "hooters". And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal... high enough so you can look up her dress. And I believe in equality, equality for everyone... no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are. And, people say I'm crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage. And I believe I made a mistake when I bought a 30-story, 1-bedroom apartment. And I believe the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns. And I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was - an arctic region covered with ice. And, lastly, I believe that of all the evils on this earth, there is nothing worse than the music you're listening to right now. That's what I believe. That was truly, truly awful. You guys have reached a new low.

If someone needs to say “I believe” repeatedly, this is how you do it. I give you, “What I Believe” by Steve Martin, Saturday Night Live, May 17, 1980:

What I Believe.

I believe in rainbows and puppy dogs and fairy tales.

And I believe in the family - Mom and Dad and Grandma… and Uncle Tom, who waves his penis.

And I believe 8 of the 10 Commandments.

And I believe in going to church every Sunday, unless there’s a game on.

And I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome and natural things… that money can buy.

And I believe it’s derogatory to refer to a woman’s breasts as “boobs”, “jugs”, “winnebagos” or “golden bozos”… and that you should only refer to them as “hooters”.

And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal… high enough so you can look up her dress.

And I believe in equality, equality for everyone… no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are.

And, people say I’m crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage.

And I believe I made a mistake when I bought a 30-story, 1-bedroom apartment.

And I believe the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns.

And I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was - an arctic region covered with ice.

And, lastly, I believe that of all the evils on this earth, there is nothing worse than the music you’re listening to right now. That’s what I believe.

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