The First Day of Mellowmas: Pendergrass!
Day one, everybody! Are you ready? (You’re definitely not ready. Too bad!)
Teddy Pendergrass: Happy Kwanzaa (download or stream below)
from This Christmas (I’d Rather Have Love) Amazon
Jason: Mellowmas hits the Congo?
Jeff: Aww yeah!
Jason: I don’t mean that as a racist. It sounds like “Congo” by Genesis.
Jeff: For the record, I would like to say that I said “aww yeah” before Teddy, and without knowing that he would, in fact, say “aww yeah.”
Jason: Whoa! We want the funk! Gotta have that funk! Happy Kwanzaa, Jeff.
Jeff: And a very Happy Kwanzaa to you, Jason. When is Kwanzaa, anyway?
Jason: Kwanzaa? You’re asking a Jew?
Did he just whisper “oh shit?” I think I heard that incorrectly. I can’t hear anything over this bassline.
Jeff: You never know with Teddy. I love the backing vocals.
Jason: This song is actually kind of awesome. Together, there is so much we can do,
Jeff: All right! It’s a celebration!
Jason: At one point, I knew what Kwanzaa was about. I learned about it last year. But I forgot. Along with Hanukkah.
Jeff: If Teddy’s singing about it, it must be about sex.
Jason: Come join the party! I think he just started speaking part of “All Night Long” by Lionel Richie. Happy Kwanzaa, everybody!
Jeff: “It’s a celebration that will last throughout the year” — that’s got to be, right off the bat, the most awkward line we’re going to hear all Mellowmas. I mean, Mellowzaa.
Jason: You know, if people didn’t know us better, they’d think we’re jerks. But we’re this disrespectful to everyone.
Jeff: …Except Michael McDonald.
Jason: Well, of course not McD. Teddy is feelin’ this one.
Jeff: Oh, shit! A rap!
Jason: !!
Jeff: I give hugs to my moms!
Jason: Who is this? Bell? Biv? The other guy?
Jeff: I think it’s Teddy’s left nut! MC Scrote! He had a hit in 1990, I think.
Jason: Creativity! Unity! Something unintelligible! Teddy’s nut sounds great. I’ve been waiting for his nut to break out and do a solo record, actually.
Jeff: I love this song.
Jason: Yeah, this is actually pretty awesome.
Jeff: Modulaaaaaaaation!
Jason: Key change, motherfuckers!
Jeff: Teddy is getting the fuck down.
Jason: I’m doing my best white man’s groove right now. Key change 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Jeff: Wait — a fade-out?
Jason: BOOO for the fade-out!
Jeff: Bullshit! Boo! An excellent start.
Jason: But still, if you look at this song as a whole, it’s like 95% awesome. I can deal with the fadeout knowing that my booty had a good shake for the other five minutes.
Jeff: An excellent start. See? It’s like Mellowmas never ended. It can only go downhill from here.
Jason: Yeah, I think we’re screwed. We’ve set the Mellowmas bar really high, now.
Jeff: Just wait until Jim Nabors shows up.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:14 am
A funky-ass bass, TWO key changes, and a wiggedy-wicked rap from MC Scrote? Haven’t even put up my tree yet, and already I’m full of Mellowmas spirit.
Welcome back from cryogenic slumber, Jefito.
Rob
EightE1
PS: Is that Kenny-Fucking-Rogers under Jason’s arm? This is going to be good …
December 1st, 2007 at 12:36 pm
merry mellowmas to you both. this is very exciting. will this year’s entire mellowmas catalog be offered up as a single download at the end, as sort of a digital stocking stuffer?
December 1st, 2007 at 12:44 pm
I got about 1:42 into it before I couldn’t take any more.
December 1st, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I am so tempted to play this at the office holiday party just to see people’s reactions…
December 1st, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Very rare to hear a song that implores you to “recite a principle and say what it means to you.”
December 1st, 2007 at 1:49 pm
It’s funny, somehow the 5% of this song that’s not awesome completely dominates it.
December 1st, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Y’know, there’s only one part of this song I really don’t like: the backup singers. They should probably be as smooth and soulful as Teddy, but instead they pronounce “Kwanzaa” like Esther from LawnGuyland would pronounce “Kwanzaa”. Oy vey iz mir!
December 1st, 2007 at 7:41 pm
Oh, and if anyone feels gypped that your first Mellowmas entry was, well, less scarring than it oughta be, let them feast their eyes upon what follows yon link: http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/a9/b0/b442828fd7a0e71e38b01110.L.jpg
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:27 am
Wow! 25 days of Mellowmas! It’s like a virtual Mellow Advent Calendar… you are to be congratulated! : )
December 17th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
This song was much better than it had any right to be. I could’ve done without the rap, but it was the ’90s and those R&B mid-song raps had almost reached their expiration date, so I can’t blame Teddy for cramming one into his holiday song before the clock struck midnight.
I watched a “Soul Train” rerun from 1978 on Saturday afternoon and heard TP’s “Only You” for the first time; it was played during the “Soul Train Line” segment. Did Gamble & Huff EVER steer us wrong in the ’70s? That Philly Soul sound just can’t be beat. I think I need to buy a “greatest hits” album of Teddy’s now, since I already like “Love TKO,” “The More I Get, the More I Want,” and “When Somebody Loves You Back.”
December 18th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Oh yes, let’s teach dem well! Let us teach dem grammar, spelling and pidgin English!
December 18th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Dreaming of an ultra-white Christmas once again, huh, Brian?
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