The Fourteenth Day of Mellowmas: Jingle Blues
We’re back with another day of Mellowmas – Day 14, to be exact. Is this as painful for you as it is for us? Just curious.
James Taylor – Jingle Bells (download or stream below)
From James Taylor At Christmas Amazon iTunes
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Jason: Hey, fake horses!
Jeff: Monty Python horses!
Jason: AUGH!
Jeff: Whoa.
Jason: I hate when JT sings like this.
Jeff: What happened here? Did he record this after a trip to the dentist?
Jason: He sounds like he has Livingston’s balls in his mouth.
Jeff: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Jason: I can’t believe I just said that.
Jeff: I think it’s usually the other way around, but yeah.
Jason: Ha ha ha!
Jeff: “Steamroller Jingle Bells Blues.”
Jason: “The James And Livingston Taylor Teabag Album.” Just a collection of songs with Livingston singing and James cock-walloping him.
Jeff: See, this is what happens when you sell as many records as James Taylor has. No one has the guts to pull you aside and say, “James, I understand what you’re after here, but this is neither the time nor the place.”
Jason: Yes. I mean, this is not a cover.
Jeff: “Quit fucking around and play ‘Jingle Bells’ the way it’s meant to be played.”
Jason: This is some kind of pretentious re-interpretation.
Jeff: “And I swear to God, if you do that New England ‘blues’ growl again, I will hit you in the Adam’s apple.”
Jason: I like his cover of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.” But yeah, this is him saying, “remember when I used to be gritty?” And I don’t, so this isn’t doing anything for me.
Jeff: I think it’s him saying “I’m bored, la la la, I’m making a Christmas record.”
Jason: Holy shit. I just got to the scat.
Jeff: A one, a one, a one…And now the fadeout.
Jason: Jingle Bell ba fa fa ba fa ba
Jeff: I think the engineers got sick of listening to it.
Jason: Gee, I wonder why they couldn’t just end it definitively. Maybe because they never had any structure to begin with.
Jeff: I bet he did. I bet he was like, “Chicken chokin’ motherfuckin’ jingle baaaaay-heeeeells…”
Jason: ha ha ha ha!
Jeff: And everyone clapped, knowing they had faded it out already. And James Taylor hasn’t listened to one of his own albums in 30 years, so he never knew.
Jason: JT is capable of so many beautiful things, Jeff. Why did you send me this one? Thanks for the marble-mouthed Christmas carol, James. You suck.
Jeff: Boo!
