We’re so close to the holiday, dear readers! We’re really starting to feel that ol’ Christmas spirit…and then this came along.

Olivia Newton-John featuring Michael McDonald – All Through The Night (download or stream below)

From Christmas Wish Amazon iTunes

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Olivia Newton-John – All Through The Night (Featuring Michael McDonald).mp3]

Jason: Just so you know, Jeff, I found out about this song through Todd, one of our readers.

Jeff: Where can I find Todd? I want to punch him.

Jason: Dude, we’re 10 seconds in and McD is not here yet. This is not right.

Jeff: HURRY, MCD! This is my Christmas wish!

Jason: This is worse than waiting for Santa! And both have the same trouble fitting down the chimney!

Jeff: Hurry the fuck up, you fat bastard! I’m getting sleepy. And nauseous.

Jason: This year, I’m leaving cookies for McD. Hey, there he is! Sing it, McD!

Jeff: You know what? I didn’t think this was possible, but Olivia Newton-John actually makes Michael McDonald suck. This is gross.

Jason: Their voices don’t blend very well, do they? I mean, it doesn’t matter. All I hear is McD.

Jeff: Like, I keep hoping this recording will be interrupted by a drive-by shooting at the studio.

Jason: With our luck, they’d accidentally shoot the douchebag on clarinet. I’ve heard a few other ONJ holiday songs this year. None of them are good.

Jeff: She’s humming. I wonder if she has his balls in her mouth.

Jason: How much you wanna bet McD got a handjob during this song?

Jeff: Take it, Mike! There he is.

Jason: “Christmas time is so appealing all through the night.” That doesn’t even make sense. I just don’t know what to think of this.

Jeff: You don’t? I have a few pointers. 1. It sucks. 2. It sucks. 3. It sucks.

Jason: And 4?

Jeff: 4. All of the above.

Jason: I’m guessing ONJ figured this was a Christmas lullaby. It has lulled me to suicide.

Jeff: Lullabies aren’t supposed to give you nightmares, are they?

Jason: I don’t think McD sucked, though. I mean, he did the best he could with what he was given.

Jeff: Why did Todd have this? I mean, we’re professionals. We’re supposed to have this crap. But what’s Todd’s problem?

Jason: Well, actually, Todd didn’t send it to me – he pointed me towards a blog that was featuring the song. (I’m protecting you, Todd!)

Jeff: Dude, McD sounded like a tool through 90% of that song.

Jason: It wasn’t his best work. You’re right on that one. There’s only one thing to do tomorrow, then.

Jeff: Delete it from our hard drives?

Jason: We must listen to more McD for Mellowmas. He has to redeem himself.

Jeff: Oh, right. That. I guess we owe him that. Or he owes us.

Jason: Yes. I have faith in you, McD!

Jeff: Me too! I guess!

Jason: I believe in Michael McDonald, Jeff.

Jeff: You know what they say. What a fool believes…

Jason: Tell you what. Let’s leave some cookies on the table for him. Some big fucking cookies.

Jeff: I’m going to leave a turd on the table for Olivia Newton-John.

Jason: We’ll leave those, and some milk. Some whole milk. None of this 2% crap.

Jeff: No, fuck 2%.

Jason: Actually, no. Fuck milk. Heavy cream. We’re leaving him big-ass cookies and a pitcher of heavy cream.

Jeff: Ha! Cookies and heavy cream!

Jason: I’m pretty sure he drinks a pitcher of heavy cream before he sings, anyway.

Jeff: He’ll need an extra team of reindeer to get back home!

Jason: And we’ll leave a carrot for him. Like, just as a joke.

Jeff: I think he has a chalupa-eating contest with Christopher Cross before he sings.

Jason: We’re totally ignoring the fact that McD lost all the weight, but I don’t care. Do you?

Jeff: Is it still gone? I have no idea. If so, good for you, McD.

Jason: I think so. I don’t know. I haven’t sat outside his house in a while. I mean, what?

Jeff: Way to resist the temptation to spend all that calling-card-commercial money on donuts! Say, when is Motown Three coming out, you fucking sellout?

Jason: Jeff! Stop!

Jeff: Oh, right.

Jason: He’s going to redeem himself tomorrow. I can feel it.

Jeff: No wise man has the power…

Jason: You’ll see.

Will McD redeem himself? Will he save this god-awful holiday? Only one way to find out: meet us back here tomorrow for Mellowmas Eve!

As we reach our 22nd day of Mellowmas terror, you can tell we’re starting to go a little crazy. But we’re doing it all for you, so don’t give up just yet!

Keith Sweat – Be Your Santa Claus (download or stream below)
From A Christmas Of Love Amazon iTunes

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Keith Sweat – Be Your Santa Claus.mp3]

Jason: Aw, how quaint.

Jeff: Ha! Fake crackling!

Jason: Vintage vinyl sounds.

Jeff: Vinyl never sounded like this.

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha! I love it. “I’ll take some old vinyl sounds, then surround it with completely modern production techniques.”

Jeff: This is what’s playing at Smoove B’s house on Christmas Eve. I want to be your Santa Claus, girl. I will lay you down. I will put my coal in your stocking.

Jason: Where did you get this? This is not in my library.

Jeff: I’m reviewing it. Rhino just released it.

Jason: Oh, this is new! That makes sense.

Jeff: Jason, none of this makes sense.

Jason: It sounds new. Who cares about Keith Sweat, though? And did they just riff on “ho ho?”

Jeff: I want to be the first gift you open tonight / Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Now baby, take your time / Unwrap me slow

Jason: Keith Sweat wants to be R. Kelly, doesn’t he?

Jeff: I love this song.

Jason: Seriously, or ironically?

Jeff: This is my favorite song.

Jason: Okay, nevermind. I know the answer. More jingle bells.

Jeff: Jingle my bells, girl.

Jason: What does he mean by “I wanna be your Santa Claus?”

Jeff: I know we have had words recently. But I want you to know that you are the one for me.

Jason: Does he mean, “I want to be white, bearded and fat, and have young children sit on my lap?”

Jeff: I promise never to call you that again, baby. Please just let me slide down your chimney.

Jason: You’re so far gone. You’re not listening to me. You are totally in Keith Sweat mode. Don’t stop. I’m enjoying this.

Jeff: I’m in the zone.

Jason: Keep going.

Jeff: Keith Sweat is my Santa Claus.

Jason: I’m just going to sit back and let you mack.

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: Mack, Jeff. Mack.

Jeff: Girl, I have made a list. I have checked it twice.

Jason: mmmph

Jeff: And I have decided that I want to be your Santa Claus. Tell me what you want, girl. I got it.

Jason: Tell her what else, Jefito Dogg!

Jeff: Right here in my sack.

Jason: Stuff her stocking!

Jeff: Long jingle bell fadeout — just like Kate Bush!

Jason: Fa la la her la!

Jeff: Deck her halls! Oh, wait! Don’t deck her, Keith!

Jason: That’d really be R. Kelly then, wouldn’t it? Actually, I don’t know. R. Kelly may not be an abuser. I mean, he’s an abuser of taste. But that’s not the same thing.

Jeff: I think he’d be more like “(I Know You Want a) Golden Shower for Christmas”

Jason: Oh man. I can’t believe you went there. I should have stopped you three minutes ago.

Jeff: Someone should have stopped Keith Sweat 15 years ago.

Jason: Your pants are around your ankles, aren’t they.

Jeff: Never mind my pants, girl.

Jason: Your poor wife is hiding in the closet with the kids, isn’t she. Your wife is trapped in the closet!

Jeff: My wife walked in during this song and didn’t even blink an eye.

Jason: Which says so much about her, but even more about you.

Jeff: I know, right? I’m filled with shame all of a sudden.

Jason: The song ended like three minutes ago, but I feel like you could go on macking straight through ’til New Year’s.

Jeff: My Bullz-Eye review for this album will be nothing but reheated Smoove B lines.

Jason: Yes! Please! That’d be so awesome.

Jeff: Wait until you see the album cover.

Jason: Oh, no.

Jeff: Well, it’s better than the Christopher Cross. But the look on his face is hilarious.

Jason: That’s what Keith Sweat looks like? I had no idea! And by “no idea,” I mean “no care!”

Jeff: Ha! What did you think he looked like, Jeffrey Osborne? Peabo Bryson? Luther?

Jason: He looks like he just farted, but nobody knows it yet.

Jeff: Absolutely.

Jason: Pretty soon, girl.

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: You’re getting a special Christmas present from Keith Sweat. (‘Cause in my mind, Keith Sweat always refers to himself in the third person.)

Jeff: I think he released this independently last year, as A Keith Sweat Christmas. So yeah, I bet he does.

Jason: Forget the mistletoe and wine, girl.

Jeff: Forget about Rudolph, girl. Keith Sweat has a new red-nosed reindeer waiting to meet you.

Jason: Ha! I bet he gives gifts and is like, “Happy Keith Sweatmas.”

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: Ha! We wish you a Keith Sweatmas!

Jeff: There’s a song on this record called “Under the Tree.”

Jason: Have you heard it?

Jeff: I don’t know. I kind of scanned through a few of the songs, until I realized there was no point.

Jason: I’m betting it sounds EXACTLY like this one.

Jeff: Yeah, I think the whole thing sounds like this.

Jason: Well, let’s not do like we did with Cross and listen to any others, okay? Unless you feel like you still have some macking left in you.

Jeff: Please. No. Let us be done with this.

Jason: You sure?

Jeff: One hundred percent.

Jason: Fair enough! Happy Keith Sweatmas to all! And to all a Keith Sweat!

Jeff: Joy to Keith Sweat! Keith Sweat has come! (All over your back!)

Jason: Ha ha ha ha ha!

Jeff: Why you cryin’, girl?

Jason: Deck the halls with balls of Keith Sweat! Fa la la la la, la la Keith Sweat!

Jeff: Do you Keith what I Sweat?

Jason: On the first day of Keith Sweatmas, my Keith Sweat gave to me…Keith Sweat. Every line would end with “Keith Sweat.”

Jeff: Send him an e-mail. Suggest that. “The Twelve Days of Keith Sweat.” I’ll be Keith for Sweatmas!

Jason: Ha ha ha ha! Suddenly, it’s perverted role playing. “I’ll Be Keith For Sweatmas” has got me cracking up.

Jeff: I’m still cracking up over Keith Sweat coming on her back. Supaman that ho!

Jason: Our readers, meanwhile, have left the building. Possibly through an eighth-story window. Oh well, it was worth it.

Read Jeff’s phenomenal review of this CD at Bullz-Eye.

Because who couldn’t use a little Christmas Bush?

Kate Bush – December Will Be Magic Again (download or stream below)

From, among other things, Christmas: The Album Amazon

I just like this picture. It has nothing to do with this song.

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Kate Bush – December Will Be Magic Again.mp3]

Jason: Doo doo doo doo my ears hurt.

Jeff: Christmas…on Mars! DecembERRRRRRRRRRRRR

Jason: You know, I just don’t get Kate Bush.

Jeff: I said that at my blog once, and got the most hate mail ever.

Jason: Well, maybe they’ll all show up here this year. Remember how I said I listened to 980 songs this year? I got only 8 seconds into this one. I don’t get her. I don’t dig her voice.

Jeff: This is disturbing in a way I can’t quite put my finger on.

Jason: I feel like she’s yelling at me. Like Bolton. OOOH! Take THAT, Bushheads!

Jeff: I can tell you, though, that this song seems to have nothing to do with Christmas. Or anything else.

Jason: I don’t know, Jeff. There are jingle bells. And everyone knows that’s all you need for a Christmas song.

Jeff: What is she saying? Is this in English?

Jason: I think it’s in Elvish. Or whatever language they speak in Lord Of The Rings.

Jeff: DecembeRRRRRR

Jason: I can’t figure out what she’s talking about.

Jeff: Light the candlelights, I think she just said.

Jason: This is giving me a headache.

Jeff: Maybe this is a Hanukkah song.

Jason: I don’t think she’s saying “December.” She’s saying, “DecembAAAAHHH.”

Jeff: You make a very good point.

Jason: Did she just say something about a parachute? What the fuck is going on?

Jeff: An icicle moon?

Jason: Is that a cell phone ringing in the background? Kate, it’s your boyfriend calling, the Keebler elf.

Jeff: I want my mom.

Jason: He’s inviting you into his treehouse to make an assortment of cookies. Anything to stop you from singing.

Jeff: So…cold…

Jason: Suddenly, my head is pounding. Kate Bush has made me sick this Mellowmas.

Jeff: Have some Gatorade.

Jason: Ugh, that high note!

Jeff: She’s screaming now!

Jason: Kate, stop!

Jeff: Oh God!

Jason: STOP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF SANTA!

Jeff: I’m sitting here, willing the song to end.

Jason: Well, luckily, it sounds like it’s fading out.

Jeff: Yes! Sweet, sweet fadeout!

Jason: But those jingle bells? Not leaving. That was terrible. I mean, abysmal. I mean, awful. I mean, terrible again.

Jeff: I can’t disagree.

Jason: And yet…I somehow feel satisfied. Like, THIS is what Mellowmas is all about, Charlie Brown. It’s about wailing pixies. And a collection of elves in a tree, making a fine assortment of cookies.

Jeff: And me, trying not to cry.

Jason: I rated this song with one star. And only because if I gave it zero stars, it’d show up again for rating next year. And dammit, iTunes doesn’t have an option for negative stars.

Jeff: I can’t believe you’re keeping it. You deleted the Bootsy Collins album, and you kept this.

Jason: Well, honestly, all the one-star songs are songs that I think might actually work for Mellowmas.

Jeff: Ha ha ha!

Jason: And you have to agree I have a point.

Jeff: It’s true. You have a point.

Jason: Actually, now I can delete it, because it’s been covered for Mellowmas, and I never have to hear it again. Hang on. I want you to be here while I drag it to the trash. Aaaaannnndddd….Done! AAAAHHHHHHH.

Jeff: Don’t you feel better now?

Jason: Feels so good!

Jeff: I’m not deleting it. You never know when someone I hate might stop by during December.

Jason: Which reminds me: next year, we should see if Chuck Mangione did any Christmas tunes.

Jeff: Oh, please let that have been the case. I would love A Very Mangione Christmas.

Jason: Actually, all he’d have to do is take “Feels So Good” and overdub some jingle bells, and I’d be fine with it.

Jeff: Same here. Why don’t you make that happen?

Jason: Next year, Jeff. Next year.

[youtube]pfD7FzcjVyQ[/youtube]

That’s right, folks. Twenty days. Twenty days of Mellowmas. But we can’t turn back now. We’re so close to the ending. Today, let’s visit a true Mellow Gold icon, shall we?  And let’s visit him not once, but twice!
Christopher Cross – A Dream Of Peace At Christmastime (download or stream below)

From A Christopher Cross Christmas iTunes

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Christopher Cross – A Dream Of Peace At Christmastime.mp3]

Jason: Wow, he just comes right in, doesn’t he? No warning. Just straight in, through the chimney, all over the cupcakes on my kitchen table.

Jeff: It’s Christmas time!

Jason: Is it Christmas time?

Jeff: It’s Christmas time!

Jason: He’s only mentioned it like four fucking times in a row. It’s CHRISTMAS TIIIIIIIME! Oh wait, that’s Fogelmas.

Jeff: He sounds exactly the same way he did in 1980.

Jason: Is that a compliment or an insult?

Jeff: ‘Tis the season to stop and ponder, Jason.

Jason: I’m pondering, Jeff. I’m pondering.

Jeff: Ponder…did Chris sell those Grammies?

Jason: AUGH!! KIDS!

Jeff: Ahhh! Kids! I wonder if he borrowed them from Mike Love? I think the same asshole designed the covers for both of their Christmas projects.

Jason: Cross’s daughter has got to be on this, right?

Jeff: I looked in the booklet. Incredibly, she is not.

Jason: Wow.

Jeff: She was probably busy. “Sorry, Dad, I’ve got something…else…going on.”

Jason: But you know what I’m really pondering? Why I actually like this album.

Jeff: I know. Because you’re a pussy.

Jason: I mean, don’t get me wrong. This song sucks. This is not one of the ones I like. But I like a good number of them.

Jeff: I wish he’d redone “Sailing” as “Santa.”

Jason: Ha! That would have been awesome!

Jeff: You feel differently about different songs on this album? I think they all sound like this. So gentle. So soft.

Jason: Well, they’re all gentle and sensitive, yes. But some of them are good.

Jeff: Christmastime! Christmastime!

Jason: When this is over, I’ll find an example of one I like.

Jeff: I’ll try to stay awake.

Jason: AUGH! ACAPELLA ENDING! KIDS! I just threw up into my egg nog.

Jeff: Chris would have finished that, you know.

Jason: Okay. I know I’m setting myself up for ridicule here, but what else is new. Let me pick one that I actually rated four stars in iTunes. I gave five of the songs on the album a four-star rating.

Jeff: Five out of ten, right?

Jason: five out of twelve.

Jeff: Wow, you operate on a twelve-star system? Strange, but okay.

Jason: Oh, I thought you were asking how many songs on the album I rated with four stars.

Jeff: I thought I was the one getting sleepy here.

Jason: “Silent Night,” “Christmastime is Here,” “The Christmas Song,” “Does It Feel Like Christmas” and “Do You Hear What I Hear.” Pick one.

Jeff: Hmm. Let’s play “Do You Hear What I Hear.”

Jason: Good choice.

Christopher Cross – Do You Hear What I Hear (download or stream below)

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Christopher Cross – Do You Hear What I Hear.mp3]

Jason: Triangle! Triangle, bitches! The triangle is so underused.

Jeff: 12-string!

Jason: Those guitars sound nice.

Jeff: He’s sort of rocking here. Not really, but a little.

Jason: Well, as much as he can. I think his vocal sounds quite pretty. Seriously.

Jeff: His vocals always sound pretty. I’d love to hear him do some Sabbath.

Jason: Ha! Or Slipknot. And I think the guitars are recorded and mixed quite well.

Jeff: Yes, it’s all done quite professionally.

Jeff: Except for the cover. I can’t believe he paid someone to do that artwork.

Jason: Well, he probably spent all his money on recording. Recording and pizza. And donuts. Key change!

Jeff: Do you hear what I hear, Jason? I hear a career softly dying.

Jason: Do you eat what I eat? Do you binge what I binge?

Jeff: A bag of chalupas big as the sea.

Jason: I love how Christopher Cross equals chalupas for you. I don’t think I’ve ever questioned it. I don’t want to question it. I believe in it.

Jeff: I think you started that gag, actually. Last Mellowmas.

Jason: I did? Wow, I’m funny.

Jeff: I believe you did, yes.

Jason: Light organ in the background! Oooh! Christopher Cross-ish bridge!

Jeff: Let us! Bring him! Silver and gold!

Jason: (Silver and gold! Silver and gold!)

Jeff: Ugh…there are still two minutes left in this thing?

Jason: Ha ha ha ha! I’m fine with it.

Jeff: Where’s a fadeout when you need one?

Jason: And, for the record, I like this better than Celine Dion, for any of you reading who are comparing my enjoyment of this song to that one. I think it’s pretty.

Jeff: Pamela Anderson used to be pretty. She still made bad movies.

Jason: He will bring us goodness and light, Jeff. And jelly donuts.

Jeff: He better bring us something. I’m getting tired of waiting.

Jason: I’m all for this track. I’m in full support of it. I feel another bridge coming on. And there it is! (Goodness and light!)

Jeff: I’m pretty sure you’re going to get a heartfelt e-mail from Christopher Cross for this. It’ll be Cross pretending to be his own publicist, but still.

Jason: The only artist I’ve ever heard from is Bill Danoff from Starland Vocal Band, as we talked about last week. Even Alan O’Day didn’t write to me, which still hurts my feelings.

Jeff: Even Alan O’Day is probably busier than Christopher Cross.

Jason: And now that I know Jim Nabors is alive, where the fuck is he? Call me, Jim!

Jeff: He’s sharpening his straight razor!

Jason: To the tune of “O Holy Night”: “JASON, THIS IS JIIIIIIM”

Jeff: God, does that sound creepy. shivers

Jason: Wouldn’t it be great if Nabors talked like he sung? “I WOULD LIKE A TAAAAAACOOOOO!” Are all of our Mellowmas entries bringing us back to Nabors?

Jeff: He has a certain magnetism about him, doesn’t he?

Jason: it’s the white pants, I think.

Jeff: He could be the white James Earl Jones!

Jason: gasp YES! You’ve nailed it!

Jeff: “THIIIIIIIIIIS IS CNN!”

Jason: I’d watch it. But we’re getting off-topic here. I’ll go ahead and ask. Was I wrong for rating “Do You Hear What I Hear” with 4 stars?

Jeff: I personally would have given it 2.5, but your standards are your own. If you think that’s a four-star song, then more power to you.

Jason: That answer leaves me unsatisfied, somehow.

Jeff: As does this song.

Jason: Like I only ate one chalupa or something.

Jeff: Or drew one cartoon flamingo.

Jason: Well, I am recommending at least those four songs to Mellowmas readers. Check ’em out on iTunes. Christopher Cross needs a new pair of everything. Are there any you like?

Jeff: There aren’t any I hate. I think the whole thing is very well made. It’s just sort of boring. If you’re a boring person, readers, then this is the Christmas album for you.

Jason: I know I’m a boring person.

Jeff: And yes, Christopher Cross could probably use the dough. Stop on by iTunes. Don’t be shy. Tell ’em we sent you. Just don’t tell them the rest of what we said.

Jason: Which dough are you speaking of?

Jeff: Churro dough!

Happy (or not-so-happy) Day 19 of Mellowmas! As some of you know, Jeff and I have an unfortunate habit of sending crappy music to each other. (See my previous posts reviewing Only In America and Metal Machine Music – this series, now known as Earmageddon, shall continue in the future with the Milli Vanilli Remix album Jeff sent to me last Spring.) While covering “You Light Up My Life” for an October CHART ATTACK!, I came across this album. Of course, I sent it immediately to Jeff.

Debby Boone – I’ll Be Home For Christmas (download or stream below)
From Home For Christmas Amazon iTunes

[audio:http://www.wwmmd.net/tunes/mellowmas/Debby%20Boone%20-%20I%27ll%20Be%20Home%20For%20Christmas.mp3]

Jeff: Ominous.

Jason: Nice string opening. Why do I feel like this has nothing to do with the shit we are about to hear?

Jeff: Why do I feel like I’m being punched in the eardrums by Lawrence Welk?

Jason: There she is! The Boonester! She lights up my tree!

Jeff: She sounds a little like Linda Ronstadt on those Nelson Riddle records, doesn’t she? She promises youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Jason: She has a real musical theatre thing going on. Like, in her mind, she’s on a stage, walking sideways, facing the audience, and there are about 50 chorus girls behind her. Dressed like nuns.

Jeff: You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever listened to this song and felt like I was being threatened.

Jason: How do you mean?

Jeff: Like, she’ll be home for Christmas. Whether I like it or not.

Jason: Oh, I getcha.

Jeff: No matter where I go. She’ll be there. Don’t come home for Christmas, Debby. Also, tell your parents that it’s Debbie.

Jason: I don’t know. It’s not really that bad, to be honest. I think this had the potential to be much worse.

Jeff: It had the potential to have a tempo, too.

Jason: String solo! Take it, orchestra!

Jeff: …and the orchestra falls asleep.

Jason: I was hoping for a spoken-word part in the middle, like in “I’ve Never Been To Me.”

Jeff: Ha ha ha! Only if she lowered her voice and said “baby” a lot. “I’ll be home for Christmas, baby.”

Jason: “You know, everybody, it’s true. I will be home for Christmas. And you know who else will be home for Christmas? Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And I wish you all the best this holiday season. Unless you’re a Jew.”

Jeff: This is so goddamn slow. I feel like I’m dragging Debby Boone through the snow.

Jason: Meh, I don’t know, Jeff. It wasn’t really that offensive.

Jeff: It’s very bland.

Jason: When I sent you this entire album, I was hoping for something more torturous, I guess.

Jeff: Personally, I hate it. If you think it’s so good, I’ll be happy to send it to you. Twice, even.

Jason: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t go overboard. But I sent you an entire album. Surely there’s something else on there that’s actually truly horrible. But I bet you can’t answer that question. Because YOU DIDN’T LISTEN TO IT.

Jeff: Not even a little.

Jason: Goddammit!

Jeff: Goddamn you!

Jason: Do you know how many Christmas songs I’ve listened to this holiday season?

Jeff: Where’s my Milli Vanilli remix Earmageddon post?

Jason: Don’t change the subject. Do you know how many?

Jeff: Something like…600?

Jason: 980.

Jeff: That’s impressive. You’re like an elf.

Jason: And you can’t listen to like 10 tracks? You have let me down.

Jeff: That’s fine.

Jason: That’s fine?

Jeff: You go ahead and say that.

Jason: I just did!

Jeff: I know, and that’s fine.

Jason: I’m just saying.

Jeff: Have you listened to the whole Jim Nabors album? HAVE YOU?

Jason: Uhhhh….

Jeff: That’s what I thought. You dick.

Jason: Shit! I have it in my apartment, though.

Jeff: I have Debby in my office.

Jason: We had a Christmas party on Saturday, and I figured people would be rifling through the medicine cabinet, because that’s what they do, right? So I put the Jim Nabors album in the medicine cabinet.

Jeff: YES. Fuck the cabinet! You should have turned it on!

Jason: Ha! I figure anybody who went looking for my erectile dysfunction meds was in for an even bigger surprise. Nabors in the bathroom! BOOO-YA!

Jeff: I wish you had played it during the party. Mellowmas Mix ’07.

Jason: The bathroom would have sounded like it smelled.

Jeff: Ha ha ha!