The Tenth Day of Mellowmas: Eye Of The Santa
Day Ten! If you’ve made it this far…seek professional help.
Survivor – Christmas Is Here (download or stream below)
From A Classic Rock Christmas Amazon iTunes
Jason: That’s some nice acoustic guitar.
Jeff: This sounds just like that REO thing from last year.
Jason: I blocked that from my memory. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jeff: Which Survivor singer is this?
Jason: I was just about to ask you the same thing. This isn’t…the usual dude?
Jeff: I have no idea. They sound the same to me.
Jason: Hmm. You know what? I don’t hate this.
Jeff: I wish they’d done “Eye of the Santa.”
Jason: Oh wait, he just said something like “this gift that we call life.” ‘Cause you know that God is watchin’!
Jeff: God is watching his chosen family.
Jason: His chosen family! Wow!
Jeff: Survivor is a Jew!
Jason: Inspirational!
Jeff: It’s true — I feel inspired. To never listen to Survivor again.
Jason: Oh, come on. This actually isn’t that bad. Seriously.
Jeff: It’s no worse than ordinary Survivor.
Jason: This song is not Jewish. For starters, it’s in a major key.
Jeff: Well, yeah, but he said “chosen family.”
Jason: He’s probably talking about the Survivor Fan Club.
Jeff: Ha ha ha!
Jason: All four members.
Jeff: “We’re blessed with inspiration to be the best that we can be.” Ironic words coming from this band.
Jason: Take your own advice, Survivor! Oooh, nice little bridge-thingie. I like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m deleting it, but it’s not that bad.
Jeff: Do these lyrics even make sense?
Jason: Oh, I’m not listening to the lyrics.
Jeff: If you listen closely, it’s like they strung together left-over lines from other songs.
Jason: Wait wait wait. Hang on. Can we rewind a bit? I just heard a weird lyric right before the guitar solo.
Jeff: See! I told you, fucker!
Jason: I’m going back to 2:40. There’s a lyric I need to hear again.
Jeff: Okay, here it comes.
It can be so cold.
Walkin’ a lonely road.
Out on the edge of town.
Jason:
Just open your heart and see.
It’s not only you and me.
He does it all without a sound
when no one’s around.
Jeff: Whoooooa.
Jason: That’s sketchy, right?? Like Santa’s quietly masturbating in the corner?
Hey, acapella Survivor! And it probably only took around 15 takes! $20 says they can’t do that live.
Jeff: $20 says they can’t get booked live outside of Des Moines. This sounds like reheated Journey.
Jason: Isn’t that what Survivor has been all along?
Jeff: ZANG!
Jason: Hey, don’t they have some of that Starbucks money now?
Jeff: They probably have jobs at Starbucks.
Jason: Stupid ending. You know what that ending screams to me? Auto Tune.
Jeff: The guitar screams Auto Tune?
Jason: No, that final vocal. I refuse to believe he was able to stay in key for that dramatic ending. Regardless, I think this is actually, dare I say, tolerable.
Jeff: It’s okay.
Jason: It really wasn’t that bad.
Jeff: Not the worst thing we’ve heard all Mellowmas.
Jason: Like I said, I’m still deleting it.
Jeff: Out of context, though? It fucking sucks.
Jason: Oh, definitely.
December 10th, 2007 at 9:35 am
I could’ve sworn it was neither of Survivor’s rotating vocalists, but this was released in 2002, and they didn’t break down and get a third guy until the past 12 months.
Glad I checked, because I’d forgotten all about this classic ad:
http://starbucks.com/grocery/dblshot.mov
December 10th, 2007 at 10:17 am
The only justification for Survivor is that the original lead singer went on to provide the voice for Bud Light’s Real Men Of Genius campaign. However, like Frankie Laine singing Blazing Saddles, I don’t think he was told it was a joke.
December 10th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Jason: That’s sketchy, right?? Like Santa’s quietly masturbating in the corner?
I don’t think Santa CAN be quiet if he’s masturbating in the corner. That whole “Ho, ho, ho” thing is kind of hard wired in the old guy’s brain.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Jeff: This sounds like reheated Journey.
Jason: Isn’t that what Survivor has been all along?
Uh, no. Survivor is reheated Night Ranger, Night Ranger is reheated Foreigner, and Foreigner is reheated Journey.
December 10th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Oh, come on, boys. This is good stuff. Certainly not in the league of Captain and Tennille and Jim-fucking-Nabors on the crapitude scale. A little hokey, yeah, but it’s “A Classic Rock Christmas” — whaddyawant?
It’s Jimi Jamison singing — Rotating Vocalist Number Two.
The one thing I don’t particularly care for is the slide guitar solo. It’s like they brought Joe Walsh into the studio, got him loaded on spiked egg nog, and gave him a guitar, which he promptly proceeded to play with his belt buckle.
Rob
EightE1
December 10th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
There’s a montage of Santa running laps, using a side of beef as a punching bag and pumping iron somewhere in this song. He should also have “Hoh!” tattooed on the left knuckles and “Oho!” tattooed on the right.
December 10th, 2007 at 8:58 pm
As a devotee of Survivor, Night Ranger, Foreigner AND Journey (sometimes), I fell I must offer my own take on re-heating:
This is early 90’s Don Henley. Ew! Ew! Ewwww!
December 10th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Feel. Not fell. Damn.
December 13th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I also thought it sounded like Henley. The vox are definitely “Henleyish”
It’s a stupid song, but wow are those two beautifully recorded acoustic guitars. The intro is genuinely nice. Then the vocals come in.
The Joe Walsh-esque slide solo also seems a bit tacked on.
Actually, it sounds like they ran the song, and ran it through Don Felder’s patented “Eagletron 6000” machine. It will tack slide guitars and 5 part harmonies onto ANYTHING.