The Twenty-First Day Of Mellowmas: O Christmas Bush
Friday, December 21st, 2007Because who couldn’t use a little Christmas Bush?
Kate Bush – December Will Be Magic Again (download or stream below)
From, among other things, Christmas: The Album Amazon
I just like this picture. It has nothing to do with this song.
Jason: Doo doo doo doo my ears hurt.
Jeff: Christmas…on Mars! DecembERRRRRRRRRRRRR
Jason: You know, I just don’t get Kate Bush.
Jeff: I said that at my blog once, and got the most hate mail ever.
Jason: Well, maybe they’ll all show up here this year. Remember how I said I listened to 980 songs this year? I got only 8 seconds into this one. I don’t get her. I don’t dig her voice.
Jeff: This is disturbing in a way I can’t quite put my finger on.
Jason: I feel like she’s yelling at me. Like Bolton. OOOH! Take THAT, Bushheads!
Jeff: I can tell you, though, that this song seems to have nothing to do with Christmas. Or anything else.
Jason: I don’t know, Jeff. There are jingle bells. And everyone knows that’s all you need for a Christmas song.
Jeff: What is she saying? Is this in English?
Jason: I think it’s in Elvish. Or whatever language they speak in Lord Of The Rings.
Jeff: DecembeRRRRRR
Jason: I can’t figure out what she’s talking about.
Jeff: Light the candlelights, I think she just said.
Jason: This is giving me a headache.
Jeff: Maybe this is a Hanukkah song.
Jason: I don’t think she’s saying “December.” She’s saying, “DecembAAAAHHH.”
Jeff: You make a very good point.
Jason: Did she just say something about a parachute? What the fuck is going on?
Jeff: An icicle moon?
Jason: Is that a cell phone ringing in the background? Kate, it’s your boyfriend calling, the Keebler elf.
Jeff: I want my mom.
Jason: He’s inviting you into his treehouse to make an assortment of cookies. Anything to stop you from singing.
Jeff: So…cold…
Jason: Suddenly, my head is pounding. Kate Bush has made me sick this Mellowmas.
Jeff: Have some Gatorade.
Jason: Ugh, that high note!
Jeff: She’s screaming now!
Jason: Kate, stop!
Jeff: Oh God!
Jason: STOP!!! FOR THE LOVE OF SANTA!
Jeff: I’m sitting here, willing the song to end.
Jason: Well, luckily, it sounds like it’s fading out.
Jeff: Yes! Sweet, sweet fadeout!
Jason: But those jingle bells? Not leaving. That was terrible. I mean, abysmal. I mean, awful. I mean, terrible again.
Jeff: I can’t disagree.
Jason: And yet…I somehow feel satisfied. Like, THIS is what Mellowmas is all about, Charlie Brown. It’s about wailing pixies. And a collection of elves in a tree, making a fine assortment of cookies.
Jeff: And me, trying not to cry.
Jason: I rated this song with one star. And only because if I gave it zero stars, it’d show up again for rating next year. And dammit, iTunes doesn’t have an option for negative stars.
Jeff: I can’t believe you’re keeping it. You deleted the Bootsy Collins album, and you kept this.
Jason: Well, honestly, all the one-star songs are songs that I think might actually work for Mellowmas.
Jeff: Ha ha ha!
Jason: And you have to agree I have a point.
Jeff: It’s true. You have a point.
Jason: Actually, now I can delete it, because it’s been covered for Mellowmas, and I never have to hear it again. Hang on. I want you to be here while I drag it to the trash. Aaaaannnndddd….Done! AAAAHHHHHHH.
Jeff: Don’t you feel better now?
Jason: Feels so good!
Jeff: I’m not deleting it. You never know when someone I hate might stop by during December.
Jason: Which reminds me: next year, we should see if Chuck Mangione did any Christmas tunes.
Jeff: Oh, please let that have been the case. I would love A Very Mangione Christmas.
Jason: Actually, all he’d have to do is take “Feels So Good” and overdub some jingle bells, and I’d be fine with it.
Jeff: Same here. Why don’t you make that happen?
Jason: Next year, Jeff. Next year.
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